Title: Favoring Fire – Episode 4

Authors: Beth and Nomi

Email: bethandsam@earthlink.net and gnomi@world.std.com

Disclaimer: The characters of "Smallville" are owned by Tollin/Robbins, Millar Gough Ink, Warner Bros., and DC Comics, not by us.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None

Category: Pre-slash

Challenge: Alien!Clark baldness

Summary: Can America help Lex find the perfect mate?

Notes: This is dedicated to Celli Lane. It’s all your fault, babe. As usual, great thanks to Julian Lee for her editorial skills. Also thanks to BP, Abi Parish-Parker and Akinaj for pre-reading the episode. All of the help was greatly appreciated.

***

Over the weekend, Clark made a concerted effort to be as "normal" as possible. To that end, he made plans to hang out with Pete and Chloe on Saturday and Sunday, spending time with them and just relaxing, the way they did when they were still in high school. By Sunday night, he thought he had managed to convince Chloe - if not himself - that everything was back to normal, and on Sunday night he slept peacefully for the first time in weeks. He woke Monday morning refreshed and ready to face whatever the week would bring.

It was a pity, Clark later reflected, that such a feeling never lasts for more than a couple of hours.

***

He'd never thought he would have wished this, but for a brief moment Clark wished that his classmates were less well read.

Not in the class materials; Clark frequently felt that he was the only one who actually did the readings before class. But now he had a better understanding of why.

It had actually started early Monday morning as Clark headed to the dining hall for breakfast.

"Yo, Kent! Congratulations!" one of the guys on the hockey team, someone Clark had met briefly while writing a piece on Met U's new hockey arena, called out to him.

"Huh?" Clark said, but by then the guy was gone.

"Ke-ent! You animal, you!" This from a member of Met U's award-winning debate team, though this level of discourse wouldn't have been any indication.

Finally Clark made it into the dining hall, still confused. He quickly got his breakfast together, paid the work-study student working the cash register – who inexplicably gave him a thumbs-up - and then found himself a table alone in a corner. He was still feeling somewhat antisocial, and he hoped that his choice of table would make him less noticeable.

But no such luck. Pete found him within five minutes of his sitting down.

"Morning, Clark," Pete said.

"Morning, Pete. Do you know what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"People are all looking at me oddly, or giving me winks, thumbs-up, or out-and-out congratulations. I have no idea what they're talking about."

"Uh...Clark? Have you been near the newsstand at all today?"

"No," Clark admitted. "I overslept, so I figured I'd pick up the paper on the way to class."

"Well," Pete said, "all of the tabloids came out this morning. And guess who's on the front of every single one."

"Oh, no." Clark was no longer hungry, and he pushed away his breakfast tray. "Pete, I've got to go. I'm gonna try to get back before class, but if I'm late, cover for me, OK?"

"Yeah, man. Whatever. Give Lex my best, OK?"

At Clark's shocked expression, Pete laughed. "Where else would I think you'd be running off to so fast?"

"Don't tell Chloe, OK? You know how she'll be."

"No, Clark, how will I be?" Chloe asked, sitting down next to Pete.

"He's planning a surprise party for Lex when the show is over and Lex has made his choice," Pete lied without missing a beat. "And Clark knows you get overly excited about surprise parties and can't keep secrets about them. But I guess the cat's now out of the bag. Sorry 'bout that, Clark."

"It's OK, Pete," Clark said, distracted. "Look, I've gotta run." He quickly gathered up the remains of his breakfast and his backpack and left as fast as he could without shifting into his superspeed.

"Was it something I said?" Chloe asked Pete.

"Not this time, Chloe. Not this time."

***

"Yes. When you have the complete list, please call me back. Thank you." Lex was hanging up the phone as Clark walked in. "Ah, Clark. I didn't expect to see you this early."

"Have you seen them?"

"If by 'them' you mean the tabloids, yes." Lex gestured to the pile sitting on his desk. "Enrique brought me copies of all of them this morning."

"I haven't seen them yet, but apparently everyone else on the Met U campus has."

"Take a look," Lex said. "My attorneys are already working on what sort of compensation we can demand for these rags besmirching your name and reputation."

Clark looked at the pile of papers, shrugged, and started looking through them. The headlines screamed out in bold letters:

From the Star News: "Scion Seen Socializing"

From the Inquest: "Lex: Lady's Lover?"

From the Tattler: "Single Millionare Secret Out?"

And from the News of the Wide World: "Luthor Companion is Alien from Another Planet."

That last one made Clark's heart stop momentarily until he read the subtitle: "Lady Love's Looks Too Perfect for Earthling."

“What about your name and reputation?” Clark asked with a raised eyebrow as he took in the comments about Lex, his appearance, and whether his father approved of Veronica or not.

Lex started laughing for the first time since Enrique had brought him the morning newspapers. By the time he calmed down, Clark was staring at him like he'd grown a second head; of course, that was one of the reports in one of the lesser lights of journalism, so Lex almost checked a mirror before returning Clark's stare. “What?”

“What did I say that was so funny?”

“There's nothing these guys can do to me that I didn't do to myself when I was younger, Clark. Used to be it wasn't a good week for me unless I was on the cover on at least one of these things,” Lex said as he reached for his bottle of water.

“But that's not you.”

“It was me, Clark. Granted, a part of me that I've outgrown, but it was still me, and as a result I have no standing to protest my image appearing in these pathetic attempts at journalism. On the other hand, you don't have a past to live down, and you do have standing. My lawyer is pursuing any and all avenues to achieve an equitable end to this mess for you.”

“You didn't ask me first.”

“If I had, you would have said something about turning the other cheek or lying down with dogs and waking up with fleas. This way, I avoid the down-home aphorisms and I get to do something for you that even your father can't object to. It's a complete win for me.”

“I don't let my father dictate what you can and can't do for me anymore, Lex. I make those decisions.”

“So I can buy you a car now?”

“No, you can't. But you can't because I say so, not because my father says so.” Clark grinned as he wandered around Lex's desk to get a bottle of water for himself out of the fridge stashed behind it. “Besides, what'll you do for my birthday if you buy me a car out of the blue?”

“True,” Lex said thoughtfully. “But that means no holds barred on your birthday present this year, right?”

“I guess,” Clark said, suddenly less happy than he'd been before.

“What's wrong?” Lex was suddenly alert. Clark's mood had been shifting like quicksilver lately, and this time Lex had caught the change before he thought even Clark had.

“Nothing.”

“Clark, something's bothering you. I know it and I didn't push you before, but I'm pushing a little now. What the hell is going on?”

“There's nothing going on, Lex. Everything is just fine.”

“Of course it is. You always run out of rooms when watching television.”

“She was mauling you, and you were letting her.”

“I'm dating these women, remember?” Lex started getting angry. “Isn't that the point of this whole thing? I'm supposed to find a wife and get married, right? Settle down, right? Isn't that what we did this for?”

“Maybe it's what you did it for,” Clark muttered as he scuffed the carpet with his toe.

Lex was about to ask Clark to repeat himself when the phone rang. “I have to take this call, Clark.”

“Fine. I have to go to class. I'll see you later.”

“Clark,” Lex called out after the swiftly retreating young man, who didn't turn around. It was as if he hadn't heard, even though Lex was sure he had. “That went well,” Lex muttered.

***

Clark slid into the seat next to Pete, feigning breathlessness for those around him. “What did I miss?” Clark whispered.

“Good of you to join us this morning, Mr. Kent. Perhaps you have an opinion on the merits of supply-side economics that you'd like to share with the rest of us.”

Clark rolled his eyes at Pete and then launched into a discussion complete with ancient Greek references that would have made Lex proud. Ever since Dr. Marks had discovered that Clark Kent was a friend of 'the' Lex Luthor, he'd spent a great deal of time trying to convince either himself or Clark, it was never clear which, that Clark was too unschooled to be a “real” friend of Lex's.

When Clark was finished, he grinned at his professor, who was now slumped against his podium in a rare gesture of defeat.

“Thank you, Mr. Kent. We appreciate your erudition on this matter. Now, if you could only read a clock, we'd be all set.”

Clark colored slightly and sat back in his seat to pay attention to the rest of the class discussion. He'd never admit it, but he was kind of glad that Lex had talked him (and the even less willing Pete) to fulfill the last of their general distribution classes with the weirdly titled, Economic Policies of the Free World. Even if most of what he knew came from Lex, it gave Clark an excuse to spend more time with him than even his history classes had afforded him.

As his professor droned on, Clark started to think about why, exactly, he wanted to spend more time with Lex. Even when he was back in Smallville, he'd thought Lex was cool, but now it was like he was hoarding every second of time he could get. He knew things were about to change - and in a big way. Lex had, apparently, met a woman he felt comfortable marrying. While Clark still had some misgivings about the whole enterprise, he was sure that Lex had made a good choice.

Once Lex was married, Clark knew he wouldn’t be able to come and go from the penthouse the way he did now. The staff wouldn’t be catering to his preferences once there was a new Mrs. Luthor in residence. God, the whole thing was going to suck so hard.

Clark nearly fell out of his seat when Pete hip-checked him on his way by. “Stop daydreaming, Clark. You've got class with Chloe in ten minutes. You do *not* want her asking you where your head's at.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Clark said.

***

Clark survived not only that day but the next two with remarkably few problems. He apparently was putting on a good enough face that Chloe had stopped inspecting his every move. Pete had complimented him that very morning on his more “human” behavior and had even jabbed him with an elbow to remind him to laugh at the joke.

By the time he was heading over to Lex's for the Wednesday evening video watching, Clark felt like he'd mended fences with everyone but Lex. He'd avoided calls from Lex until Lex had finally had his lawyer call and do the talking. The lawyer said something about Clark choosing to go on the show and thus making himself a media personality, which then voided, more or less, his right to privacy. However, the lawyer also said he was exploring another avenue that might prove to be advantageous and that Clark should be prepared to sign a number of legal documents in the coming weeks.

Clark ducked out of his photography class with Pete and went to the penthouse early. Although Lex would be working for a few more hours, Clark believed he could get his thoughts in order better at Lex's than in the dorm, and he'd be ready when Lex arrived to attempt to fix the things he'd done in the last week or so.

He hadn't been in the penthouse for ten minutes when he heard the front door slam. He heard anxiety edging Lex's voice as he asked Enrique, “Where's Clark?”

“I'm in the library, Lex,” Clark called from down the hall.

Lex burst into the room, practically vibrating with barely restrained energy. “What's wrong? Why are you here so early?”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Security alerted me the second the penthouse elevator was used. Are you okay?” Lex studied his friend carefully. He didn't look particularly worse for the wear, so clearly he'd been sleeping all right, and he certainly didn't look like he'd missed any meals, so Lex concluded that whatever was bothering Clark wasn't affecting his sleep.

“Calm down, Lex. I'm fine.”

“Of course you're fine,” Lex scoffed. “You haven't talked to me since Monday morning.” Lex took a deep breath to steady himself and then said, “I can't apologize enough for everything's that happened. If I'd realized that you were going to be subjected to all of this untoward coverage, I would never have asked you to participate in this - this folly.”

Clark reached out a big hand and reeled the other man into a hug. Lex stiffened momentarily, but then relaxed into the gesture. “I'm okay, Lex,” Clark said softly as he ran a hand down Lex's arm in an attempt to soothe him. “I'm not mad at you. I just had to do some thinking about things, but I promise I'm okay and I'm not mad at you.”

Lex pulled back out of the embrace and scrutinized Clark's face. “Are you sure? Because you should be mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you. I volunteered, remember?” Clark recalled the day that Lex had been contacted by the production company. He'd called Clark over to the penthouse and explained the whole scenario to him. Clark had agreed that it sounded like a decent way to meet women who weren't sociopaths, or at least less likely to be, but then Lex had presented the one problem. He was supposed to bring a friend, either male or female, with him to help him vet the women. He wasn't immediately sure who he should bring but then Clark had offered, eagerly, to help. Clark’s eagerness didn't fit with Lex’s image of Clark -- publicity shy to the extreme -- but Lex had gotten what he'd really wanted, so who was he to complain?

“That's true, you did. So are you going to tell me what's been bothering you?”

“It sounds stupid,” Clark mumbled.

“Tell me anyway.”

“I just realized how much things are going to change once there's a Mrs. Luthor.”

“Nothing's going to change, Clark,” Lex said trying to reassure his friend.

“Oh, come on, Lex. Even you don't believe that.”

“Okay,” Lex conceded. “Things will change a little, but you won't be inconvenienced in any way, I promise.”

“Stick with me here. The cook will have a new favorite, or at least a new person whose preferences should take priority over mine. I'm not going to be able to come and go from here like I do now. Your new wife is going to expect privacy, Lex, and I have to give both of you your space while you get accustomed to being married to someone who isn't trying to kill you.”

“But . . .” Lex started to argue, but he realized that Clark was right. Things would change. Things that he'd become extremely comfortable with would have to change drastically, and one thing was certain -- Lex didn't like change of that magnitude.

Clark watched as Lex blanched - one more sign of how comfortable Lex had gotten with him over the years. He showed his emotions more easily with Clark than he did with anyone else. Clark patted Lex gently on the shoulder again. “It's all going to be okay. You said you needed to settle down and be more stable, and marriage was a way to accomplish that. We're right on target for that.”

“But that doesn't mean you won't still be important to me,” Lex said.

“Right, but we both know that things will have to change. Dad says it's the nature of things.”

“Fine. But I don't have to like it,” Lex grumbled, giving Clark a glimpse of what he must have been like as a child.

“No, you don't. And I don't have to like it either, but that's the way it is.” Clark glanced at his watch. “Shouldn't you still be at work?”

“I suppose. You're going to watch the tape tonight, though, right?” Lex seemed almost desperate to keep Clark close given the recent realizations.

“Tell you what - I could use a nap.” Clark made a show of yawning hugely, even though he really wasn't all that tired, because he knew that Lex needed to get back to the office. “I'll just bunk down here and you can wake me up when you're done.”

“That's fine,” Lex said absently as he started to walk away. He was clearly preoccupied, but Clark didn't know if he was preoccupied with what they'd just talked about or some business deal that he'd left to find Clark in the first place.

Clark went down the hall to what had always been his suite, and lay down on the huge bed. Lex had had a bed custom built for him when it became clear that even an extra-long king didn't provide Clark with enough room to thrash around at night.

He stared up at the ceiling and wondered, not for the first time, why all of this was bothering him so much. He knew what Lex wanted and he even agreed with it. Lex had so much to give someone that the need just seeped out of him sometimes. He needed to be needed, Clark's Mom would say. He needed to be able to protect someone and care for them and provide for them. And what kind of friend was he, anyway, to begrudge Lex that pleasure?

He was worried, though, that no matter who Lex picked, she wouldn't be able to see the person underneath all the trappings. Lex put on such a good show it was difficult - nearly impossible - to see beneath the cover to the good hearted man underneath. It had taken years of considerable effort to get his father to recognize that Lex would only become the demon seed if everyone left him to it and didn't hold him to a higher standard. That had always been Clark's job, and he wasn't sure he could relinquish it as easily as he'd told his father he could.

The more he thought about it, the more uneasy he got about this whole situation. Something about it just didn't sit right, but he still couldn't figure out what it was. Clark drifted off to sleep still puzzling over the problem but unable to find a satisfactory explanation.

***

Lex returned to his office in a much worse mood than his secretary had anticipated.

“Mr. Luthor?” Irene asked gently. “Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine, Irene. I don't wish to be disturbed,” Lex said as he passed in front of her desk and into his office. He'd almost closed the door when he turned around and said, “Unless it's Clark. He can come right in if he wants to.”

Lex closed the door more gently than he really wanted to, but he wasn't inclined to scare Irene half to death. She was actually loyal to him and not to his father, and he didn't want to jeopardize that relationship by treating her badly.

Lex flicked a glance over the papers currently resting on his desk. There was nothing urgent, nothing that couldn't wait an hour or a day. Besides, it was LuthorCorp business, and he didn't have as much affection for the old company these days.

For a moment he considered pretending that what Clark said about their relationship changing wasn't true, but he realized that he really couldn't do that. He had to think through how it would change and whether those changes would be positive or negative.

First, he would have a wife. As Clark had pointed out, a wife who wasn't trying to kill him - he could only hope. In theory, you spent time with your wife watching movies, having dinners, going to parties, and maybe, going to clubs. Okay, those were all things he did with Clark now, so all of that would change.

Even knowing who he had chosen, Lex wasn't sure that doing all those things with her and not with Clark would be as much fun.

“Damn it.” He scowled as he started looking through some other documents he'd set aside for LexCorp business. Here was a little company that he was sure would add to his already considerable lead in the bio-tech field. He could steal it out from under his father if he simply dumped the stock and waited for his father to think he smelled blood in the water. Lex could then swoop in first and rescue the company without bloodshed or loss of jobs. A win all the way around that even Clark would approve. Lex took care of the stock and then continued considering his new situation.

Second, his new wife would expect to be the litmus for his decisions. Would she approve, not would Clark approve? That would be a problem. Lex could hardly deny that Clark provided him with a moral center. He knew he'd had one once, but one too many encounters with head trauma seemed to have completely short-circuited that part of his brain.

Third, no more weekends with Clark, no more just hanging out with Clark . . . Lex realized it pretty much meant no more alone time with Clark. As Clark had said, he didn't have much experience with women who weren't trying to kill him, so he would need time to learn how to relate to her.

Fourth -- and this was a positive factor -- Clark would be able to find a girlfriend and a future mother to Kent grandchildren. All the time he spent with Lex had to put a damper on his dating. In fact, Lex couldn't remember the last time that Clark had gone out on a date, with anyone.

Fifth, he would be able to provide a Luthor heir and shut his father up. There was a good point to this. And, if Clark and his future wife produced children, then the kids could play together and he'd get to spend time with Clark.

Okay, back up, Lex thought. I just married him off and have him creating offspring just so we can spend time together. Surely a married man could still have a boy's night once in a while.

Lex thought about this for a few minutes and realized he didn't know any happily married men who did, in fact, have boy's nights anymore. Their lives were consumed by their spousal and parental duties - so much so that they hardly had time for work, let alone their friends.

Lex was so thoroughly depressed by these realizations that he didn't even respond to Irene's gentle tap on the door.

“Mr. Luthor? Sir?” Irene called through the thick door.

“I said I didn't want to be disturbed,” Lex growled.

Irene opened the door a crack and peeked in. “I know, sir. I just wanted to let you know that Enrique called to let you know that your other guests have arrived.”

“Fine. Is the tape here?” Lex asked.

“Yes, sir. It was delivered approximately a half hour ago.”

“Thank you, Irene.” Lex replied, dismissing his secretary. As he strode past her desk he picked up the envelope with the tape. “Have a good evening, Irene. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Mr. Luthor,” Irene said quietly as the elevator doors closed behind her boss. She hoped that he and Clark patched up their differences soon. Whenever he was at odds with the boy, Mr. Luthor was difficult to work for.

***

Lex strode into the penthouse with his usual self-assurance. None of his earlier thoughts were evident in his bearing or his attitude. He glanced around and realized that, while Chloe and Pete were in evidence, Clark was nowhere to be found.

“Has Clark gotten here yet?” Chloe asked. “He skipped his afternoon class.”

“I see,” Lex said, amused. “We'll just have to deny him dessert for that, won't we?”

Chloe frowned, not seeing the humor here. “He never skips class, Lex.”

“We had some business to attend to, Miss Sullivan. I'll go find him,” Lex said, ending the conversation by walking out of the room.

Once away from the prying Miss Sullivan, Lex allowed his worry to show. It wasn't like Clark to sleep through anyone's arrival, but surely he would have awakened when Lex came home. He always did.

Lex peered into Clark's room and saw the younger man tossing and turning in the bed as if in the grips of a nightmare. Having been knocked around before by a frightened Clark, Lex approached the bed cautiously. He cleared his throat, but it had no affect.

He reached out, gingerly, and touched Clark's arm. As usual, Lex was surprised by how warm Clark was. He'd come to realize, over time, that it didn't mean he was feverish. He was just warm by nature. He shook Clark's shoulder carefully. “Clark?”

Clark mumbled something in his sleep that Lex couldn't understand. When Lex leaned in closer to try to understand, Clark shifted and knocked Lex off his feet.

“Shit!” Lex exclaimed, louder than he'd meant to.

Clark shot up on the bed. “What the hell?” He looked around, confused. “Lex? What are you doing on the floor?”

“It's where I got knocked on my ass by my good friend when I tried to wake him up,” Lex muttered as he got up, rubbing his backside. He was going to get a bruise, he just knew it. At least it wouldn't last too long and at least he didn't get a concussion this time.

“I'm sorry, Lex.” Clark used the puppy dog expression that Chloe always teased him about to try to appease Lex.

“I got what I deserved. I should know by now not to touch you when you're sleeping and upset, but, obviously, I needed that lesson reiterated,” Lex frowned as he picked himself up off the floor. It definitely hurt more than he'd thought it would. “You want to talk about it?”

“What time is it,” Clark asked instead. He wasn't ready to talk about his dreams with anyone - especially Lex.

“Late enough. Pete and Chloe are here,” Lex replied. He sighed inwardly. Someday Clark would trust him enough, but apparently that wasn't today.

“Why didn't you wake me up?”

“Hello? What do you think I just did?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I guess I'm still a little sleep fuzzed,” Clark said as he pulled the covers off and got up. He nudged Lex in the shoulder as he passed. “You ready for this?”

“Not really, but then I don't really have a choice, do I?”

“You always had a choice, Lex,” Clark said so quietly that Lex wasn't sure he'd heard him correctly.

“What choice was that?” Lex was honestly curious.

“I don't know, Lex. You're Lex Luthor. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you didn't want to do this, you could have bought your way out at any point. You didn't, so you must, at some level, have wanted this and wanted the outcome.” Clark could feel himself getting too upset and closed his eyes, not wanting to set anything on fire. That would be the perfect end to an already lousy day.

Lex rolled his eyes and walked away from Clark toward his other guests. “You coming, Farmboy?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You've always had a choice, too,” Lex replied. He couldn't stand it when Clark got this way. He was the only one who was supposed to do the passive aggressive thing.

Clark sighed and said, “I'm sorry. Guess I'm crankier than I thought I was. Maybe I should just go back to the dorm.”

Lex turned around in the hall and stared at Clark - hurt radiating off of him so clearly that Clark could almost see it.

“If that's what you want to do.” Lex shrugged and turned on his heel to stalk down the rest of the hall.

Clark rubbed the back of his neck and chastised himself again. He didn't want to lose Lex's friendship and acting like a spoilt child was surely the fastest way to make that happen. He stopped in the bathroom and splashed some water on his face and then glared at himself in the mirror.

“Shape up, Kent. Lex didn't do anything to deserve being on the receiving end of your pissy mood.” Clark actually chuckled when he realized that he was speaking aloud. He was definitely losing it.

***

Lex continued stalking into the living room where Pete and Chloe were waiting. They had seated themselves on the couch in a close approximation to their positions from the previous week.

“Where's Clark?” Chloe asked.

Lex shrugged off the question and headed straight for the bar. He poured a scotch, neat, and finished it in one swallow. He was fixing a second when he heard Clark answer the question.

“Right here, Chloe,” Clark said as he crossed the room to stand next to Lex. “Sorry about that, Lex. I didn't wake up well, and I shouldn't have said what I said,” he said softly so he couldn't be overheard.

“You were right - about part of it anyway,” Lex allowed. Clark reached around Lex to grab a bottle of water and then headed for his spot on the couch.

Lex glared at the assembled group and said, “This tape is less than an hour long. Is there any way that we could get through it tonight in less than four hours?”

“If you stop pausing the tape, maybe,” Chloe said with a cheeky grin.

Clark started laughing at the put out look on Lex's face and said, “You know she's right.”

“Like you don't stop the tape, too,” Pete argued, defending Lex to both his and Lex's surprise.

“All right. Enough,” Lex said firmly as he took the seat next to Clark. “Are we ready to watch this thing?”

“Ready,” the other three chorused and then broke up laughing again. They quieted quickly as the screen showed the first images of the coming show.

***

“Tonight on 'Single Millionaire,' the ladies will be treated to more time with Lex Luthor. Lex will be taking two of the women on spectacular private dates, while the other four will be enjoying fabulous group dates. In the end, we will have the most exciting elimination ceremony yet on 'Single Millionaire.'”

***

“Is it me or is every elimination ceremony the most exciting ever?” Pete asked.

“It's not you,” Clark said. “They say that every time.”

“It's part of the show, guys,” Chloe said with confidence. “They always say that because they want you to stay tuned in until the very end.”

“Could we please get back to this?” Lex suggested, barely containing his annoyance.

***

The next scene showed Mark Michaels walking into the ladies mansion with Clark.

“Ladies, you all know Clark,” Mark said. “Today, he's going to talk with each of you - individually - and then he's going to decide who should go on the private dates with Lex. Remember, ladies, the decision is totally up to Clark.” With that, Mark turned and left Clark with a group of women now anxious to speak with him.

“Uh, hi,” Clark said, blushing. “Is there somewhere that I can do these without everyone around? I kind of need to talk to you guys individually.”

“As Mark suggested,” Delia said coolly. “You could use the study, Clark. No one is there right now.”

“Uh, thanks, Delia.” Clark cleared his throat nervously. “So, who wants to go first?”

The women looked at each other and tried to assess, quickly, whether it would be better to talk with Clark early or late in the process.

Clearly, Veronica had made up her mind because she wrapped a possessive hand around Clark's bicep and encouraged him down the hall and into the study.

“Poor boy,” muttered Jennifer. “If she doesn't come out of there in half an hour, we should go in after him.”

“She's not that bad, Jennifer,” Stacy S. said with a note of censure.

“I just don't think Clark is ready to deal with someone like her,” Jennifer replied with an arched eyebrow. “You know what I mean.”

Veronica closed the door behind Clark and practically slithered into a spot on the loveseat that Clark had already staked out for himself.

“Uh, okay, Veronica. How are you?” Clark was clearly uncomfortable by how close she was to him.

“Is that one of the official questions?”

“No, I'm just asking.”

“I'd rather focus on the official questions, if you don't mind.” Veronica's tone was chilly.

“Okay, I need to ask you about your dates with Lex. How do you feel they've gone?”

“Lex and I have a wonderful connection, Clark. It practically vibrates whenever we're together. He's such a gentleman, too.”

***

Lex paused the tape at the helpless laughter coming from the other three. He glared at each of them, daring them to say something.

“Oh come on, Lex. That was funny.”

“Really, Mr. Ross? What did you find so amusing?”

“The only thing vibrating between you two are her boobs as she tries to hypnotize you with them.” Pete chuckled but stopped when he caught the dark looks from Clark, Lex, and Chloe. “Uh, sorry, man. I didn't mean anything by that.”

“So you're not fond of Veronica, Pete?” Lex arched an eyebrow.

“She just seems a little, um, out there, you know?” Pete struggled to find words that wouldn't offend Lex, but that would also support Clark.

“No, I don't know. Enlighten me, please.”

“I think what Pete means, Lex, is that she's coming on awfully strong for a woman who only just met you,” Chloe said calmly. “Besides, she had her tongue down your throat on that private date. What are her criteria for a gentleman anyway?”

Clark nodded thoughtfully at Chloe's remark but refused to say a word when Lex looked at him. Clark pointed to the screen and mimed zipping his lip.

***

“Huh, you don't say,” Clark replied without giving away his thoughts on her comment. “Okay, what do you think is Lex's most outstanding quality?”

“I don't know if I can pick just one thing, Clark. Lex is such an outstanding person. He's patient, generous to a fault, and so concerned with the wellbeing of others.”

“Okay. If you had to pick the one person, aside from yourself, that you feel is best for Lex, who would that be?”

“I can't do that, Clark,” Veronica replied, ice returning to her voice. “None of the other women here are appropriate for Lex in the least. Surely someone as smart as you realizes that.”

“Could you try?”

“No, I could not. None of these women have any idea what Lex needs in a day-to-day situation. He needs a woman who is smart enough to keep up with him, but who knows her place in his life. He needs a woman who is self-assured and willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him. He needs a woman who is self-confident and who can conduct herself properly in *any* circumstances. I am the only woman here who can give him all of that,” Veronica replied emphatically. “Are we finished?”

“Uh, sure,” Clark eyed Veronica warily as she sashayed out of the room. Before the door closed behind her, he heard her say, “Remember, Clark. I'm the best choice.”

***

As Lex watched Clark's expression on camera, he had to admit he was impressed. A younger Clark would have made it clear how much he disliked the woman who had just left his side. The new and improved, older version simply made a couple of notes and waited for the next woman to enter the room.

***

The next woman to enter the room was Delia. She perched herself on the edge of a desk and made a show of checking her watch as she waited for Clark to ask his questions.

“Do you need to be somewhere, Delia? 'Cause this can wait, if you want to go later,” Clark offered.

“No, I just want to know how long this is going to take.”

“Oh, not long, I guess.” Clark consulted the list of questions and asked, “How do you think your dates with Lex have gone?”

“Fine, thank you,” Delia replied.

“Um, would you tell me about them?”

“I'd prefer not to.” Delia buffed her nails against her sleeve and began studying them as she awaited Clark's next question.

“I see.” Clark stared at the woman for a moment. “You understand that I get to pick who goes on the dates with Lex, right?”

“I do,” Delia confirmed. “But I realize that you aren't going to pick me, so I don't see why I should answer your personal questions when the likelihood of it yielding a result I would like is non-existent.”

“Why won't I pick you?” Clark asked, honestly curious.

“You clearly don't like me, Clark. I think you recognize, rightly, that I'm competition for your time with Lex. When he and I become a couple, I will be putting a stop to the amount of influence you have over him. As his wife - his partner - I should be the primary influence in his life.” Delia studied the effect of her words on Clark, but it was clear, from both her expression and Clark’s that her words didn't have the impact that she'd hoped. It appeared that he hadn't even heard her as he continued to make notes on his pad and then looked up.

“So, is asking you to tell me who, aside from yourself, is an appropriate choice for Lex going to get me an answer?” Clark flashed one of his best smiles at the woman seated across from him - more or less.

“I have no answer for that question.” Delia glared at the smiling young man. Clearly, he was less easy to intimidate than she'd initially imagined.

“Then I think our discussion is finished,” Clark said, smiling again.

***

“Why didn't you tell me about that?” Lex demanded.

“Tell you about what?” Clark looked at his friend, completely bewildered by Lex’s outburst and by the stopping of the tape.

“Didn't you think I'd want to know that she threatened our friendship?”

“Did she?” Clark asked, eyebrows raised. “I didn't notice.”

Lex stared at Clark, frowning at the obvious obtuseness being displayed by the other man. “What do you guys think?”

“I think she was trying to intimidate Clark into picking her by suggesting that he was afraid of her,” Chloe said. “And it surprised her because he didn't fall for it. Clearly, she's never met your father.”

“Yeah, dude. With a Dad like yours, Clark has to be thick-skinned already,” Pete chimed in.

Clark just shrugged and grinned again in Lex's general direction as he motioned for Lex to continue the tape.

“We'll discuss this later, Clark,” Lex said ominously.

“Whatever.”

***

The discussions with three of the remaining women were simply alluded to, and then one final woman walked through the door to talk with Clark.

He smiled at Stacy S. as she walked in the room. She settled into a chair across from him, much like the other women had done, and smiled at him.

“How are you, Stacy?” Clark asked warily.

“I'm fine, sweetie, how are you?”

“Glad this is almost over,” Clark admitted. He grinned when Stacy S. laughed at his remark, although she laughed a bit more than he thought was strictly necessary.

“You're so funny, Clark,” she said sincerely.

“Thanks,” Clark said with a small grin. “So, how have your dates with Lex gone, Stacy?”

“I really haven't gotten any time with him at all, Clark,” Stacy S. said with a small pout. “I've been on group dates with him, and he's always so busy with work and things at the events he's taken us to that we hardly get to see him at all.”

Clark nodded carefully, and asked, “So you don't think you've been able to develop a connection with Lex, then?”

“Now, Clark,” Stacy S. wagged a finger at Clark. “I didn't say that. What I said was I don't feel like I've had as much opportunity to spend time with Lex as the other girls. He and I have similar interests and I know we'd have fun together if we could spend some time alone.”

“Okay,” Clark said as he made a couple of notations on his pad. “Now, what do you think is Lex's most outstanding quality?”

“He has so many, Clark. How am I supposed to pick?” Stacy S. asked helplessly.

“Would you try, please?” Clark requested with exaggerated patience. He had definitely earned some time away from these women after this.

“Oh, I don't know. I love the way he talks, you know? He's so smooth and so sweet and his voice would just melt butter. It's so hot.” Stacy S. was practically panting as she finished her praises of Lex's voice.

“Um, okay,” Clark said trying to refocus on the last question. “Who -- other than yourself -- do you think is the best match for Lex?”

“I really haven't gotten to know the other girls all that well,” Stacy S. replied. At Clark's raised eyebrow, she frowned, “Fine. I think Lindsey suits him really well. She's funny. She's smart. And she really likes Lex.”

“Thanks, Stacy,” Clark said with a smile.

“Is that all, Clark? I can answer other questions if you want me to,” Stacy S. offered.

“I'm sure you can, but those are all the questions I have.”

“Don't you want to know who I think doesn't suit him?” Stacy S. asked plaintively.

“It's not one of the questions on my list, but sure, who do you think doesn't suit him?” Clark asked, gamely.

“Marnie. She's not his type at all.”

“Really?” Clark's brow furrowed. He'd actually kind of liked Marnie. She reminded him, in a good way, of his mother. “How so?”

“She doesn't have what it takes to be someone like Lex's wife.”

“What does that mean?”

“You know, you have to be really tolerant of some things, and I don't think she could be.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You know Lex's reputation, right?” Clark just stared at Stacy S. so she kept talking. “I mean, you'd have to be willing to put up with him not being faithful, sleeping with men, or whatever else. He'll always be busy with the company, so you'll need to be able to entertain yourself. She's not that kind of girl. Seriously.”

Clark stared at Stacy S. but remained silent. After a minute, once he was sure that she wasn't going to say anything else, he said, “Well, thank you for your thoughts, Stacy. If you could let the rest of the ladies know that the first date box will arrive later today, I'd appreciate it.”

“I will, Clark,” Stacy S. replied as she impulsively hugged him.

***

Enrique stood in the doorway of the living room, catching a few minutes of the show before announcing his presence. His eyebrows practically shot off his forehead at the young woman's last remarks. He felt Master Clark had handled the situation admirably. He cleared his throat, and the group in front of him turned to look at him.

“Dinner is served,” Enrique said formally.

Lex hit the pause button and eyed his butler carefully. “Just how long have you been standing there, Enrique?”

“Long enough to feel that my admiration of Master Clark is justified,” Enrique said with a sniff. He turned on his heel and walked away from the group who were suddenly jostling each other to get to the dining room and the food.

“I wonder what we're having,” Pete said.

“Smells like spaghetti and meat sauce. Garlic bread,” Clark said sniffing the air. He took one more deep breath and said, “Mmmmm. And something chocolate for dessert.”

Everyone else started sniffing, and Lex said, “That has to be wishful thinking, Clark. Although, now that I think about it, we've done pizza; we've done burgers; it's time for spaghetti, I suppose. The four food groups of Clark Kent.”

“What are those?” Chloe asked.

“Don't tell me you don't know.” Lex looked at her incredulously.

“Really, I don't.” Chloe assured him as she elbowed past him to get to the food.

“Since he moved to Metropolis, anyway, it's pizza, burgers, spaghetti, and tacos.”

Pete stood at the entryway to the dining room and grinned, “All right, Clark. You called it - except you missed the salad.”

“Aww, that's for Lex and Chloe. Real men don't eat salad.” Clark laughed at the indignant look on Lex's face.

“Excuse me, Clark. Did you just imply that I'm not a 'real man'?”

“Haven't seen you shoveling out the barn lately, have I?”

Clark grabbed a plate and started piling on the food.

“Neither have you, Farmboy,” Lex said as he slid in front of Clark and grabbed a large piece of the garlic bread.

“Oh, come on, Lex. You aren't going to eat that. Please let me have it,” Clark begged, using the puppy dog eyes to his full advantage.

“Oh for god's sake,” Lex muttered as he dropped the piece of bread on Clark's already overburdened plate. “I just do not want to hear about it when you blow up as big as a house. You hear me?”

“Never going to happen,” Clark replied with a blissful smile as he sat down at the table and took a large bite of the bread. “I'd marry your cook, Lex.”

“You will not. I've had a hard enough time finding one who can keep up with your eating habits. You will not take this one away.” Lex brandished his salad fork to emphasize his point.

“You are truly weird sometimes, Lex,” Clark said, laughing around his pasta.

The friends ate in the dining room in deference to the particularly messy food and the high probability of someone spilling something on Lex's couch.

When they'd all finished eating, Pete led the way back into the living room. ”Where's the fire, Pete?” Clark asked.

“I want to see who got the private dates,” Pete said, looking confused when Chloe started crowing at him. “What?”

“Oh my god, you've gotten into the show.” Chloe could not have stopped laughing if her life depended upon it. “Mr. 'I'm only watching because Clark's on it' is addicted.”

“I am not addicted, Chloe. I just want to know what Clark does here. Seems to me no matter which way he picks, Lex is going to have a rough few dates.”

“You can say that again,” Lex muttered so that only Clark could hear him.

Clark frowned. Lex had said next to nothing about his dates when they happened, and Clark had been kind of surprised by Lex's selections for the next grouping. Now at least he'd get to see what happened.

***

The next scene showed the invitation box in front of the door to the women's house. Lindsey opened the door and immediately began gushing about how the box looked as she brought it inside. “Girls, come look. This box is so pretty.”

The other women crowded around the box as they waited to see who it was for and what kind of date it would be.

“And the box is for,” Lindsey paused dramatically.

“Hurry up and tell us,” Veronica ordered impatiently.

“Jennifer,” Lindsey said with a smug grin. “Looks like it's a private date, too, Jen.”

Jennifer plucked the card off the box and read aloud, “Jennifer, Clark thinks we should spend some time together. I'd like to invite you to dine with the stars, and me, tonight. Enclosed you'll find appropriate clothing for our adventure. Until then, Lex.”

As the other women sighed at the note, Jennifer carefully removed the ribbon from the box and opened it. Inside was a lovely dress, in her size, with matching shoes and a wrap. “It's perfect,” she said with a small smile as she pretended to be oblivious to the jealous glances of the other women.

“I wonder which stars you're going with,” Stacy S. said, envy plain in her voice.

“I hope I get to meet Brad and Jen,” Jennifer said. “I just know she and I could be friends.”

“Maybe you'll get to meet Bruce Wayne,” Delia said, thoughtfully.

“Why would I want to meet him?” Jennifer's face was blank. “Maybe Tom Cruise will be there.”

***

“It's not like you to do the celebrity thing, Lex,” Chloe said, her brow furrowed with confusion.

“You're right, it's not,” Lex said with a grin. “Watch and learn, Miss Sullivan.”

Clark watched Lex's face as he anticipated the next few minutes of film. Avid interest was such a good look for Lex, Clark thought. Shit. Since when do I pay attention to what looks good on him?

***

Lex arrived promptly at seven for his date with Jennifer. He hadn't gotten a chance to get to know this woman - she was shyer than the other women, but as his own mother had been somewhat reserved at times, he couldn't necessarily eliminate her because of it. Besides, he enjoyed a mystery.

He tapped on the door to the women's house. When the door opened, he wasn't greeted by Jennifer, but rather by one of the other women, much to his dismay.

“Come on in, Lex,” Stacy S. said. “Jen's not quite ready.”

“I see,” Lex said. He supposed that some women simply took longer than others to prepare themselves for a date, but he did not appreciate being kept waiting.

A small graphic suddenly appeared on the screen that said “fifteen minutes later” and the screen shifted to show Lex now sitting on a bench in the foyer looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.

***

“Dude, you're never this calm when we keep you waiting,” Pete said.

“I do look calm, don't I?” Lex said with a small smile.

Clark watched the man on the screen and saw what no one else seemed to see - that his teeth were clenched and that he was leaned back with his eyes closed. He looked like he didn't care, but Clark knew that pose. Lex was calculating - whether the best way to get out of the date or the current profit standings of LexCorp it was difficult to tell, but it was clear that he was working on something while he was waiting.

***

Jennifer finally descended the stairs after keeping Lex waiting for over 30 minutes, as the graphic on the screen made clear.

“Jennifer, you look lovely,” Lex said as he held out a hand to his date.

“Thank you,” Jennifer said, with no hint of apology for keeping Lex waiting. “I'm just so excited about this evening.”

“I'm looking forward to it as well,” Lex said. He escorted Jennifer to the limousine and helped her settle into it comfortably. “We should be there in approximately twenty minutes. Would you like a drink?”

“A martini would be wonderful.” Jennifer smiled easily.

“Of course,” Lex replied as he reached over to the bar to make the drink. After pouring the drink for Jennifer, he grabbed a bottle of water for himself.

“You aren't drinking?” Jennifer asked, startled. She suddenly wondered if she'd made a mistake asking for a martini so early in the evening.

“Not at this moment, no.” Lex took a quick swallow from his bottle of water and then set it aside. “So what is a smart woman like you doing on a show like this?”

Jennifer flushed at the compliment and then said, “Well, I'm just so sure that you and I would have a connection if we were ever to meet, and then when I heard that you were going to do the show, I just had to get on it, you know?”

“I see,” Lex said. “And what would our connection be based on?”

“We're interested in so many of the same things,” Jennifer said, practically gushing. “And you're just so cute and I just think we'll get along so well - we're just made for each other.”

“I see - we share interests. That's wonderful.”

“Well, like tonight, for example, we clearly like the same things because I'm so excited about a night with the stars. This is going to be fabulous.”

Lex smiled, “That's good news. It's a rare woman who is so enthusiastic about astronomy. This is going to be a fascinating evening - there's a possibility that we'll be able to see the rings of Saturn. Clark will be sorry he missed this.”

Jennifer's brow wrinkled as she stared at Lex. Astronomy? What did that have to do with an evening with the stars? Unless, and then she smiled again, of course, a benefit of some sort for an astronomy place with lots of stars. “That sounds fascinating, Lex. I can't wait.”

As the limousine slowed down, Lex said, “You won't have to wait much longer. I believe we're here.”

***

The show cut back to the house where the women had received a second date box. Lindsey, again, held the card, but burst out laughing before she could read it. Marnie plucked the card from her hand and said, “Oh my.”

“Cut to the chase, would you?” Veronica asked. “Is it a group date or an individual date, and who's going?”

“Well, it's a group date for Veronica and Delia,” Marnie replied, desperately trying to prevent the laughter that was attempting to escape.

“Let me see that,” Delia demanded. She frowned as she looked at the names on the card.

“Where are we going?” Veronica asked.

“It says: Delia and Veronica. I would love it if you would join me for a day at the races to examine my newest acquisitions. We'll follow our day with dinner. Until then, Lex.” Delia poked around in the box and pulled out two smaller boxes labeled with each woman's name. When they opened them, the women found sunglasses that were suited to their personalities.

“So, we're going to be outside and his newest acquisitions,” Veronica mused. “Do you think we could be going to the Derby?”

“Isn't that run in May?” Marnie asked.

“Oh, right. Well maybe another race or series of races then,” Veronica said, happily. “I just love horses.”

As the women continued to search for hints about Veronica and Delia's date, they heard the front door open and swiftly slam shut. The click of heels on the marble floors alerted them that it wasn't Clark.

“Jennifer?” Lindsey called.

“I don't want to talk about it,” Jennifer said as she stormed up the stairs.

“Well, I think that's one less competitor for us.” The captioning clicked on under Veronica as she whispered to Delia. Delia smiled her agreement.

***

“That's it?” Chloe's eyebrows nearly shot off her forehead as she shut down the tape. “We didn't get to see the date?”

“That's strange, dude. Very strange,” Pete added. “What happened anyway?”

“It is rather odd, Pete. The cameras were with us the whole time, so I'm not sure why, exactly, they've elected to show it this way. Perhaps we'll understand better if we continue to watch and see.”

“Will you tell us *everything*?” Chloe asked, pleading.

“I will tell you what happened on the dates they don't show. I don't believe that violates our confidentiality agreement, do you, Clark?”

Clark was still staring at the screen wondering how that date could have possibly gone wrong, and missed Lex's question. He almost jumped out of his skin when Lex poked him and then stared at him expectantly. “What???”

“I asked you a question, Clark. Didn't you hear me?” Lex frowned for a second and then said, almost to himself, “Of course you didn't. If you'd heard me you wouldn't have been startled in the first place.” And then louder, “Again, do you think that telling Miss Sullivan about the dates they don't show would violate our confidentiality agreement?”

“Um, I don't know,” Clark said. “I guess not.”

Lex restrained himself from rolling his eyes and said, “Then it's a promise Miss Sullivan. I'll *tell all* after we finish watching the tape. Of course, I'll be off the record, correct?”

“Of course, Lex,” Chloe said, virtuously.

“Make sure it stays that way,” Lex said with a mock glare as he reached for the remote again. “Let's see whether the other dates turned out as weird as this one.”

***

The two women were waiting for Lex when he arrived early the next morning.

“Thank you for being prompt,” Lex said as he led the way to the limousine.

“As if we'd be anything else,” Veronica and Delia practically chorused. It seemed almost as if the two of them were working together to make the date successful - no matter what.

“We have to take my private jet to our ultimate destination, and while we're in transit I have to deal with some LuthorCorp business. I hope you ladies can keep yourselves occupied while I'm doing that,” Lex said hopefully. After the previous date, he wasn't sure what he'd do if they said no.

“Of course, Lex,” Delia said. “I have my palmtop in my bag; I need to do some editing anyway.”

“I have some work that I need to do as well. So I'll be fine, too,” Veronica said, gamely. Although what she actually had was a romantic novel that she'd been reading lately.

Lex smiled his approval as the limousine whisked them away to the airport where his plane was housed.

Once they boarded the plane, Lex settled into the private cabin, leaving the two women in the main cabin to work on their own projects.

***

The screen darkened and then lightened to show Clark once again at the women's house. This time he appeared to be working on something, but the camera angle was odd.

***

“What in the world are you doing, Clark?” Chloe asked.

“Well, um, I think that's when Jennifer dropped one of her earrings down the sink and they called me to come get it out for her.”

“And no one thought to ask production?” Lex's eyebrow arched significantly.

“It's not like that, Lex,” Clark rushed to reassure his friend. “She was embarrassed, and she didn't want to bother anyone on the show.”

“As if you weren't on the show,” Lex growled.

“You know what I mean, Lex. The crew works so hard, and I wasn't doing anything but hanging around in that stupid house waiting for you to get back. At least this way I was doing something.”

“I made sure there were plenty of things for you to do,” Lex said.

“I know you did, but I was getting bored. I didn't know they were going to film me and use it in the show, Lex,” Clark said plaintively.

Everyone's attention was riveted to the screen when Clark popped up from under the sink holding the earring and wearing a huge grin. “Found it.”

“Oh, thank you, Clark,” Jennifer said. “They were my grandmother's, and it would just kill me if anything happened to them.”

“I understand,” Clark said as he patted Jennifer's hand gently. “Is there anything else I can do for you ladies?”

They all looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders collectively.

“You have to stay for dinner as a reward for helping me,” Jennifer said. At the shake of Clark's head, the other three women concurred and Clark gracefully agreed.

***

Once the plane touched down, Lex and his dates were shepherded to a helicopter.

“I'm sorry about this,” Lex shouted over the motor. “But this is the only way to get where we're going on time.”

Both women gave him thumbs up signs rather than attempting to respond. They traveled another fifteen minutes, according to the notation on the screen, and touched down on a heli-pad just outside of the grandstand.

Once the helicopter had taken off again, Lex strode quickly to the owner's entrance, his dates rushing to keep up with him.

The noise from inside was deafening and both women were throwing questioning looks at each other.

“Good, we've made it in time to go check out the garage before the race starts,” Lex said.

“Garage?” echoed Veronica.

“I bought a racing team recently - given the increase in interest in NASCAR, I believe it's a sound investment. This is my first real opportunity to observe my drivers in a race, and I'm excited to share this with the two of you.”

“I've always found auto racing fascinating,” Delia offered gamely.

“Really? What part interests you the most?” Veronica asked.

“Um, the cars,” Delia replied, hoping that Lex wouldn't catch on that she was bluffing.

Lex nodded absently as he turned the corner to his team's garage. His drivers were decked out in the purple and black uniforms he'd selected, and the cars were devoid of stickers. The only identifying mark on the car was the LexCorp logo centered on the hood of the car.

Delia and Veronica started to come forward with Lex when two large men stopped them. “Sorry, ladies -- owners, drivers and crew only past this point. That means you, too, fellas,” one large man said as he frowned at the camera crew.

“If you can wait a few minutes,” Lex said. “I just want to check a couple of things out and then we can head up to my box.”

Veronica shrugged her acceptance, while Delia waved Lex off to check out the cars. The screen split to show Delia and Veronica leaning against the team trailer while also showing Lex sticking his head under the hood and scooting under the chassis with a board. Once he was finished checking out the cars, he turned to his drivers and spoke with them for a few minutes.

The camera caught Delia glancing at her watch and sighing, while Veronica watched the exchange between Lex and the drivers intently. Lex shook hands with each of his drivers and then disappeared to the back of the garage for about five minutes (according to the time on the screen), during which time both women began fidgeting.

When Lex finally reappeared, he'd managed to remove the worst of the grease that he'd picked up while poking around with the cars. “Shall we?” Lex asked as he offered an arm to each woman.

Veronica and Delia took his arms gingerly - wary of the grime that still might be attached to him - and allowed him to lead them to their next stop. They had assumed when he said 'box' that they would be away from the noise and such, but Lex lead them to a boxed off area in the middle of the throngs of people instead.

“This is your box?” Delia asked dubiously.

“Well, this isn't a sport like baseball or football - the term box can be taken rather loosely at some of the events,” Lex said. “I have to admit, I prefer this sort of a set up to a sterile box where the sound has to be piped in any day.”

“Me too,” Veronica said enthusiastically. She began chattering about favorite drivers and so on until the cars were at the line.

Delia was silent for most of the pre-race time because she simply didn't have anything to say - she knew next to nothing about racing. She finally asked, “Is this formula one racing?”

“No,” Lex said. “This is stock car racing. We're in what they call the Busch series racing. Not quite ready for Nextel Cup racing, but maybe in a couple of years.”

“I see,” Delia said. The explanation hadn't helped her at all, but she wasn't going to admit that.

She was about to ask another question when she heard the call for drivers to start their engines and she was practically deafened by the sound. She looked at Veronica, and they both realized that they wouldn't be able to get another word in with Lex until the race was over.

***

Clark's face suddenly faded into the screen and it was clear that he was still in the women's house. He was sitting on the couch and looked like he might be half asleep.

Off camera, a couple of the women, unidentified, were clearly giggling, and the captioning clicked on so the viewer's could hear what was being said.

“He's really hot.”

“Oh, yeah, he is.”

“Do you think he'd take one of us if Lex doesn't?”

“How much money do you think he has?”

The scene faded to black with the two unnamed women plotting to get Clark interested in one of them if they lost out on Lex.

***

Clark turned to Lex and said, “I swear I didn't know anything about that.”

“I know you didn't.” Lex took a deep calming breath. “I know you wouldn't have anything to do with something like that.”

“Besides, I'm not hot.”

Lex rolled his eyes but didn't say anything in response to the typical Kentian denial. Chloe caught his eye and shook her head furtively. They were all used to the fact that Clark didn't see himself the way that everyone else did.

***

As the action resumed, Lex was returning with the two women to the women's house. He was on the phone and talking intently while the two women were left to keep themselves entertained - again.

Neither spoke, choosing instead to stare out the windows of the limousine at the passing Metropolis skyline. When the limousine arrived at the house, Lex motioned for the two women to wait while he finished his call.

“Dad - I have to hang up now,” Lex said. “I'll call you back in ten minutes.” He hit the end button on his phone and then, as a precaution, shut it off.

He turned to Delia and Veronica and apologized. “I'm sorry for the intrusion. My father doesn't comprehend the meaning of non-working hours.”

“I completely understand,” Delia said smoothly. “I would like a few moments of your time, though, before we say good night.”

“Of course,” Lex said. He then turned to Veronica and said, “I've had a wonderful time with you today, Veronica. Thank you for your patience with me.”

“I'd like to talk with you, too, Lex,” Veronica said. She maintained eye contact with him and held onto the hand he offered to her.

“I'm sure I can accommodate both of you, but I need my rest as well.” Lex motioned toward the front of the house. “If you'll wait for me there, I'll be with you directly.”

Veronica forced herself to maintain a slow and steady gait to the designated area. She'd get Lex last and that's what she wanted - well, that and to best Delia at her own game. She leaned confidently against the pillar by the door and waited patiently for Lex to finish with Delia.

Delia forced her features into a smile but the camera easily picked up the strain in her features. “You're so diplomatic, Lex. I really appreciate that.”

“I don't think anyone has accused me of that before,” Lex chuckled. “What did you want to speak with me about?”

“I just wanted you to know what a good time I had today.”

“Really?” Lex's voice was skeptical, but he made it seem as if he believed her. “I'm glad. I wasn't really sure if auto racing was your kind of thing.”

“What made you decide to take me on this particular date if you didn't think I'd enjoy it?” Delia frowned prettily, as if the ideas were simply too complex for her.

“I was as surprised as you were by who was going on which dates. Clark made most of the decisions.” Lex frowned briefly. “It's a damned shame he missed this race, he would have truly enjoyed it.”

Delia fought to maintain her control, though it was clear from her eyes that she was furious about that piece of information. She leaned across the seat toward Lex and kissed him. Within moments she and Lex were kissing intently as she channeled her passion into something productive - or at least likely to benefit her in some way.

After a few minutes, Lex pulled back and said, “I'm sorry to have to break this up, but I still need to speak with Veronica, and I have an early meeting tomorrow with my father.”

“Of course, Lex, I understand,” Delia said as she slid out of the limousine and sauntered up the walk past the still waiting Veronica.

Lex paused inside the limousine long enough to remove the lipstick that Delia had left on him and to grab a few swallows of water. He was just about to exit the limousine when Veronica reentered the vehicle.

Lex found himself practically horizontal with Veronica on top of him before he realized what was happening.

“I thought she'd never leave you alone,” Veronica said sweetly. “I wanted some time with you for myself.” She began rubbing herself over Lex's prone body and smiling as he began to respond. She began kissing him and he couldn't seem to help but kiss her back.

Lex placed his hands on the small of her back and pressed her closer as they deepened their kisses. Just as Veronica was sure that he was caught, Lex began to pull away from her. “I'm sorry, Veronica, but I have to go. I've got to rest for my meeting tomorrow,” Lex said firmly as he began to push the woman away from him.

Veronica ran a possessive hand over Lex's scalp and said, “That's fine with me, Lex. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again.”

“I'm sure I will,” Lex replied as she closed the door to the limousine and headed to the house. Once she'd entered the house, Lex said, “Drive, please.”

***

The next morning, the women found another box. The remaining three women surrounded the box. Stacy S. began pouting almost instantly when she saw Lindsey's name on the card. "It's for you, Lindsey."

"For me? Alone?" Lindsey was stunned. She really didn't think she'd made a strong impression on Clark, but clearly she must have.

"What does it say?" Jennifer asked. She still hadn't come clean about what had happened on her date, but she was now actively observing the other women's experiences hoping that they were having no better luck with Lex than she did.

"It says, I would like you to join me at a benefit this evening. Get ready for an evening of dinner, dancing, and history." Lindsey opened the attached box and discovered a beautiful, sleek black dress that suited her perfectly and a delicate pair of heels. She sighed as she ran her hand over the soft fabric.

"I wonder what the twist in your date will be," Delia asked idly.

"What do you mean?"

"So far, the dates haven't been as straightforward as they sounded on the outset. I just wonder how yours is going to be different." With that, Delia turned and walked out of the room.

Lindsey's mouth fell open and felt her stomach drop as she considered what Delia had suggested. "Oh god. I don't want anything bad to happen."

"Don't let her ruin your time with Lex," Marnie counseled. "You have a chance at something she didn't get that's why she's acting this way."

"Do you really think so?" Lindsey sounded unsure.

"I really do," Marnie said as she patted Lindsey's shoulder. "Now, come on -- let's go decide how to style your hair."

***

"She's really nice, Clark," Chloe observed. "Why didn't you pick Marnie for an individual date?"

"I can't say."

"What do you mean you can't say?"

"I mean I can't say." Clark stared at Chloe and tried to communicate how uncomfortable she was making him, but he didn't think it was working out well.

"I think, Miss Sullivan, that he is contractually obligated not to speak of these matters," Lex inserted smoothly.

"Oh," Chloe said flatly. Even though she knew that this was the case, it was hard for her to accept the inevitablity that she wouldn't know until the rest of the world did.

Pete reached over and gave Chloe a big hug. He could see that she was having a rough time with the secrecy thing. It was amazing to him that Clark had managed to keep his *big* secret from her this long. Chloe leaned on his shoulder, and he continued to hold her while they watched the show.

***

Lindsey was waiting at the top of the stairs when Lex arrived at precisely 7 PM. She glided down the stairs and headed out the door that Lex held open for her.

"Punctuality is a quality I appreciate," Lex said.

"I thought you might," Lindsey said with a smile. She eased into the limousine and continued smiling even as her dress attempted to cut off her circulation. It did fit her perfectly – standing. The second she sat down, however, it constricted in several places and made her incredibly uncomfortable. She prayed that the limousine ride would be short.

***

Lex watched Lindsey's face and realized that something was off. He really hadn't gotten to know her at all, so he attempted to initiate conversation with her. "How have you enjoyed this experience so far?"

"It's been exhilarating," Lindsey wheezed out. "I've met some new lifelong friends and Clark is such a great guy."

"He is," Lex replied. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You sound like you're having trouble breathing."

"You're so considerate, Lex, but I promise I'm fine."

"What do you do when you aren't on this show?"

"I'm an accountant." Lindsey tried to pull in another breath and then said, "A forensic accountant -- I specialize in criminal fraud."

"That's -- interesting," Lex said -- a small smile playing on his face -- as he imagined his father's face if he ever introduced this woman to him. "What do you do for fun?"

"I don't have time for fun," Lindsey said. "I'm passionate about my work."

Lex nodded dazedly and announced, happily, "We're here."

"What's the benefit for?"

"The Luthor pediatric wing at Metropolis General. We're getting to use the new theatre at the Metropolis Museum of History to screen a new documentary on Alexander the Great. It's going to be a fascinating evening."

Lindsey managed to contain her groan. She would have to sit through a documentary -- those could be so long.

***

The brilliant part of this date, in Lex's opinion, was the fact that the documentary was almost three hours long. He was able to watch new theories about the relationship between Alexander and Hephastion in relative peace because Lindsey kept disappearing from his side only to return five or so minutes later.

She'd hardly eaten a thing at the dinner, so Lex wasn't sure what was going on. He'd asked once if she was all right, and she assured him that she was. After that, he shrugged it off and focused on the film.

***

When the film ended, Lex realized that Lindsey was nowhere to be found. She was no longer seated next to him, and she wasn't waiting for him outside of the theatre. After waiting for a few minutes to see if she was in the powder room, Lex asked one of his business associate's wives to go see if his date was all right.

"Lose your date, my boy?"

"Hello, Dad," Lex said, turning smoothly to face his father. "Funny -- you didn't mention that you were going to be here this evening."

"I've always appreciated a good documentary."

"I see." Lex stared at his father. "Don't let me keep you, Dad. I'm sure you have corporations to destroy or perhaps a small country to take over."

"I was hoping to meet your new lady friend."

"Perhaps another time," Lex said, moving away from his father as he caught a glimpse of Lindsey coming toward him from the banquet room. He frowned when he realized she was tilting slightly.

He advanced quickly and slid an arm around Lindsey's waist. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm feeling a bit lightheaded," Lindsey admitted just before she turned pea green and vomited on Lex's shoes.

Lex heard his father laugh from across the room and held in a groan. He would never live this date down. Never. His father would get endless delight from bringing this up, he thought as he eased Lindsey toward the bathroom.

Several waiters rushed forward to clean off Lex's shoes. He waved them away and walked gingerly toward a bathroom to clean himself off. After scrubbing ineffectually on his shoes, Lex slipped them off, along with his socks, and handed them off camera.

"I think it's safe to say that this date is over," Lex said, staring straight into the camera as the screen faded to black.

***

Lindsey stomped up the stairs of the women's house and slammed the door to the room she shared with Marnie and Stacy S. She practically ripped her dress off and took her first deep breath of the evening.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Marnie asked from the doorway.

"Oh, I'm just fine," Lindsey muttered as she slipped into her yoga gear and started stretching her aching muscles.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Is there anything I can do?" Marnie asked.

"Absolutely nothing -- unless you can rewind to before this date started and let me start it over again." Lindsey flopped down on her bed and sighed.

"I take it your date didn't go well."

"I threw up on him," Lindsey said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Marnie said. "What happened?"

"The dress was constricting me every time I sat down. I had to eat dinner, but I just couldn't keep it down. I tried -- I managed for the first several hours, but I went to get something to drink and that was it -- all over Lex."

"What did he do?"

"He found someone to help me into the bathroom and he disappeared. He didn't even ride back with me."

"Maybe he didn't ride back because he didn't want the smell to make things worse for you," Marnie suggested.

"You think?"

"Yes, I do."

"So maybe I still have a chance."

"You might -- I just can't imagine him holding something like this against you. Was your date good otherwise?"

"I think so, but what do I know?" Lindsey rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling. "I think I need some time."

"I'll make sure everyone else leaves you alone."

"Thanks, Marnie."

***

"Oh, man, Lex. That sucked," Pete said.

"Well put, Pete," Lex said. "That's one tuxedo I'll never wear again."

"I don't blame you."

"Why didn't you ride back with her?" Chloe asked.

"Production wouldn't allow it. What she neglected to mention was that she was taken to the hospital to be checked for food poisoning or drug use or whatever else might have caused that reaction. They couldn't get the releases for filming at the hospital, so I was sent back to our place."

"Oh, but if you'd been allowed?"

"I would have stayed with her, of course," Lex said with a smile.

"Of course you would," Clark said with an answering smile, knowing that Lex would only have done that if he really liked the person who was ill. He truly hated hospitals almost as much as Clark did.

***

The final date box was sitting on the kitchen table when the women came down for breakfast the next morning.

Marnie looked at Stacy S. And said, "Well, we know who this is for."

"I guess we do," Stacy S. replied unenthusiastically.

"Well, I, for one, am looking forward to it," Marnie said as she plucked the envelope off the box.

"What's it say?" Lindsey asked over her glass of orange juice.

"Ladies -- I'm sorry for the delay. I have an important meeting today that cannot be rearranged. I will pick you up tomorrow morning for a day enjoying my favorite ways to relax. We'll have a wonderful, relaxing day where I hope I'll get to know you both much better."

"So we have to wait until tomorrow?" Stacy S. asked.

"It would appear so," Marnie said calmly.

"That sucks."

"I suppose," Marnie said thoughtfully.

"We could get to see Clark if he's alone over at Lex's house," Jennifer said.

We could call and see," Lindsey added.

"I think Clark said something about going to see his parents for a day or two," Marnie said. "I doubt he'll be there."

***

“I knew there was a reason I liked her,” Chloe said.

“Me, too,” Clark agreed. “I didn't even know she did that.”

Lex studied Clark's face. The relaxed grin made it clear that he would have rather eaten snails than spend another “fun filled” day with Lex's ladies. “What were you doing? You didn't go home?”

“Well, duh,” Clark stared at Lex.

“What?” Pete looked between the two men trying to figure out what was going on.

“We went to the new Spiderman movie, Lex. Don't you remember?”

“Oh, that's right.”

“They let you put off a date to go see a movie with Clark?” Chloe asked.

“They weren't given much choice, Chlo. Lex told them he had a meeting and that I was involved - though I still don't know how he convinced them of that - and we headed off to the movie premiere.” Clark practically glowed as he remembered going to the movie with Lex. They'd strolled down the red carpet with the celebrities and gone to the after parties and hung out with a now significantly older Toby McGuire. Lex had remarked at the time that they were going to have to find a new Spiderman - kind of like how the Bond franchise obtained a new James Bond every decade or so.

“Is Kirsten Dunst as fine in person as she is on film?” Pete asked.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Clark replied, not 100% sure what he'd just agreed with.

“She can't be that good looking if she didn't make a stronger impression on you, Clark. I knew it was a camera trick,” Pete said, disgust dripping in his voice as yet another fantasy woman had been ripped from her lofty perch. “Well, there's always Halle Barry.”

“I wouldn't count on that, Pete,” Lex said.

“Damn. Don't ruin my fantasies, man,” Pete grumbled as he sunk back into the couch cushions.

“That's all they are,” Chloe said darkly as she grumbled about men and unattainable standards of beauty.

“I need a drink,” Lex stated firmly. “Does anyone else need anything while I'm up?”

Clark smiled again. Lex never used to remember to ask that question before he satisfied himself, but now he always remembered. “I'd like a coke, please.”

“You know where they are, and your legs aren't broken,” Lex replied as he fixed his drink.

Clark couldn't help but laugh. Typical Lex.

***

The morning of the date, Lex was waiting at the door of the women's house quite early. He'd specified that they'd spend the day, so he hoped that these two women would be on time and prepared for any activities he might come up with.

When he knocked on the door, Marnie opened it and welcomed him inside. “Stacy needs two more minutes to pull herself together and then we'll be ready. Could I get you some coffee or something?”

“I'm fine,” Lex said. He settled himself in the seat where he'd waited for Jennifer to wait for another date.

Marnie disappeared up the stairs, hopefully to hurry Stacy S. along, as Lex attempted to not look irritated while he waited.

When both women appeared at the top of the stairs a few minutes later, Lex was talking on his cell phone. He waved both women toward the door and continued his conversation as he followed them to the limousine.

“I have to go now, Dad,” Lex said. “I know this is important, but I have things to do. I'll call you this evening. Goodbye, Dad.”

Lex slid into the limousine seat and smiled at his two dates. “I'm sorry for the distraction. My father has difficulty comprehending words like – ‘I'm busy’ or ‘I have to do something that doesn't occur on LuthorCorp property.’”

“I'm sure he's not that bad,” Stacy S. said with a smile.

“I'm sure he's not,” Lex repeated, rolling his eyes when she turned away. “So, ladies, what do you think I have in store for us today?”

“Every date has been a variation of what people assumed it would be, so I have no idea,” Marnie said, honestly.

“How so?” Lex asked, looking perplexed.

“Well, the racing date, for example. Veronica and Delia were expecting horses and they watched auto racing,” Marnie said.

“But I didn't say anything about horses.”

“Well, no, but maybe they didn't consider that you would be interested in auto racing.”

***

“Obviously, they've never seen you drive,” Pete said, dryly.

“For that, Mr. Ross, kiss your opportunity to ride in the Lamborghini goodbye.”

“Riding in it isn't nearly as cool as driving it,” Pete said to make himself feel better.

“Like that would ever happen,” Chloe laughed. “Lex won't even let Clark drive his cars.”

“That's not true, Chloe,” Clark said. “I can drive them; I just don't want to drive them.”

“That's true. He's on my insurance and everything.”

“I'm only on your insurance because I bring your rates down, Lex.”

“That's not true. I'd insure you anyway.”

“Could we get back to the show, please? This is just sickening,” Pete grumbled. He'd always been a bit jealous of Clark's friendship with Lex, and the car thing was just too much for him to bear gracefully.

***

The limousine brought Lex and his dates to the LexCorp heli-pad, conveniently located at LuthorCorp headquarters.

"We'll be taking the helicopter to Smallville and we'll spend the day relaxing at my property there."

"Smallville? What's in Smallville?" Stacy S. asked.

"The places I go when I need to relax and get away from everything." Lex slid into the seat beside the pilot and focused on preparations for takeoff.

The brief flight to Smallville took almost no time, and they soon landed at the castle. Lex led the two women toward the back of the property. When they reached a sleek structure, Lex said, "There's a changing room on the upper level and then I'll meet you in the stable and we can choose our mounts."

"Our mounts?" Stacy S. echoed.

"Yes," Lex replied over his shoulder as he strolled away to change into riding clothes.

"I don't believe this," Stacy S. sputtered.

"What's wrong?" Marnie asked as she started toward the stairs to change.

"I can't ride a horse."

"I'm sure we can teach you, Stacy. It's really not that difficult. Besides, the terrain here seems fairly easy, and we'll keep it to a canter for you."

"No, I *can't* ride a horse," Stacy S. shouted.

"I'm sorry. Is there a problem here," Lex asked, walking back in from what appeared to be an extremely quick change.

"I'm *allergic* to horses, Lex. We simply can't go for a ride as part of our date."

"That's unfortunate." Lex looked toward the camera for a moment -- one of the first signs of awareness he'd shown of the cameras surrounding him on any episode -- nodded quickly, and said, "However, we've done a great deal of work on the property to make it suitable for this activity and I have no intention of wasting that time or that money. I arranged for professional masseurs, aromatherapists, and other assorted spa personnel for an afternoon of pampering. You can avail yourself of those services while Marnie and I are riding."

"No, that is unacceptable," Stacy S. said imperiously. "This is supposed to be a group date. It is completely inappropriate for you to engage in an activity that one of your dates cannot participate in."

Lex raised an eyebrow as he regarded Stacy S. benignly. "I have no intention of changing my plans because of an unfortunate circumstance. I assure you that we will spend time together during our visit to my home, but I do intend to take my horse out today."

"The point is that we are supposed to be on a group date. It is utterly unacceptable for you to take off with one of us and leave the other one alone. I simply won't have it." Stacy S. stamped her foot emphatically.

"You can fight this out with the producers. I'm going riding." Lex turned on his heel and walked toward the stalls. He caught Marnie's hand on his way by, "Are you coming?"

"Of course, Lex," Marnie said as she joined him and walked toward the stall. She turned her head back toward Stacy S. and mouthed the word 'sorry' to Stacy S.

***

The first few minutes of the ride were quiet, as both Lex and Marnie were concentrating on the rough patch of ground they were riding over.

"I've been assured that the bridle path is cleared," Lex called over his shoulder. "It's just the access road that's a bit choppy."

"I'm fine, Lex," Marnie called back as she clucked and encouraged her horse.

Once they reached the path, they discovered that they could ride side by side. As Marnie pulled even to Lex, she said, "What did you say her name is again?"

"Marigold," Lex said with a grimace. "I didn't name her."

"I'd imagine not," Marnie said with a laugh. "So who do these horses actually belong to?"

"What makes you think they aren't mine?"

"Well, the names, for one," Marnie said as she patted Marigold on her neck. "Second, you just don't seem like the type to keep horses when you don't get out here that much."

"What makes you think I don't get out here that much?" Lex was curious what this woman saw and what she thought she saw.

"Your businesses, both of them, are based in Metropolis. You're a scion of that city. Not that many people do the house in the country thing anymore with any serious level of commitment. And, honestly, you just don't strike me as a country kind of guy."

"That's because I'm not," Lex smirked. "Clark though . . ."

"Is that kind of guy. So are these beauties his?"

"His family keeps them. I think of them as Martha's horses, but Jonathan would kill me. So they are my horses, but the Kents take care of them for me."

"It's really nice of you to do that."

"It lets me help Clark's parents without them feeling like it's charity, and I get to ride when I come out here without having to worry about the horses when I'm not here. It's a true win-win proposition." Lex shrugged. "There's a pond about a quarter mile down the path. Race you?"

"You're on," Marnie said as she gently kicked Marigold to spur her into a gallop.

The twosome raced down the path and out of view of the cameras.

***

Clark stared at Lex.

"What?" Lex asked.

"Huh?" Clark responded. He couldn't stop thinking about how Lex did things for him and for his family without them ever being aware of it. He started wondering what other things he didn't know about that Lex had done for him.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I am not," Clark said indignantly.

"Yes, Clark, you are," Chloe said, insinuating herself in the conversation.

"I'll thank you to stay out of this, Miss Sullivan," Lex said.

"I was only . . ."

"Chlo, let it go," Clark said. "Maybe we should see what happens next."

"Fine," Lex said, fuming inwardly. Yet another time he notices something and Clark denies that it's there. He didn't know how much more ignorance he could feign before his brain exploded. Although an exploded brain might be less painful.

***

The cameras caught up with Lex and Marnie as the came to a photo finish at the edge of the pond. They both dismounted and let the reins trail while the horses took a long drink from the pond.

Lex took Marnie's hand again and led her to a blanket spread out under a tree with a picnic basket anchoring one corner.

"Stacy would have a fit," Marnie said with a grin.

"I assume she would, but I'm not planning to tell her, are you?" Lex's eyes twinkled with suppressed merriment.

"I certainly don't plan to bring it up."

The image on the screen widened out and soft music started to play as Marnie and Lex relaxed and enjoyed the picnic of fresh fruit and a bottle of wine. Although the audience wasn't privy to the conversation, it was clear that Lex was relaxing and enjoying himself.

***

Clark found himself glaring at the screen and could feel the pressure building up. He leaped off the couch and ran out of the room again.

"God damn it, Clark," Lex shouted as he took off after his wayward friend, leaving Chloe and Pete gaping after them.

"What just happened here?" Chloe asked.

"I have no idea," Pete said. "I thought Clark liked Marnie."

"So did I." Chloe thought for a minute. "Hey, maybe he can read lips and Marnie said something about Clark or his family that he didn't like."

The both quieted down as they heard Lex pounding on a door and calling through it, "Would you just open the damned door, Clark?"

"Just give me a minute, okay?" Clark was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He hadn't lost control of his heat vision in a long time, and he was trying not to melt anything in Lex's bathroom.

"Are you okay?"

"I suddenly wasn't feeling so good. I just need a few minutes. Please, Lex," Clark pleaded.

Lex leaned his head against the door for a second and took a deep breath. "Okay, Clark. Just come get me when you're ready to go back. I'm going to go check my email."

Clark smiled. Checking email was one of Lex's ways of calming down and releasing some of his worry when things were getting to him -- things like Clark. He didn't mean to worry Lex. He really didn't. It just really bugged him to see Lex relaxing and enjoying himself.

And that was wrong, because it didn't usually bug him when Lex was relaxed and having fun. So why did it bother him now?

Clark breathed a sigh of relief as the pressure seemed to release, and he pushed himself up off the bathroom floor. He splashed some water on his face and then let himself out to go find Lex and finish watching the tape. He was more than ready for this show to be over.

***

When they restarted the tape, Lex and Marnie were still sitting and talking. On screen, Lex suddenly frowned, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a blinking phone.

"Damn it," Lex exclaimed. "I have to take this."

"It's no problem, Lex," Marnie said as she pushed herself up off the blanket and grabbed several of the baby carrots that were still on her plate. "I'll go give these to the horses."

"Thanks," Lex said as he clicked the phone on. "This is Lex Luthor."

Marnie wandered over to the pond and held out her palm, offering Marigold a carrot. While her back was turned, the camera panned wider to show Lex watching her while he listened to the person on the other end of the phone.

Lex finished his call as quickly as he could. He could not imagine how other people managed to take the time to do these shows without being constantly interrupted. "Gabe. You've handled the situation perfectly. If my father gets wind of it, I'm sure I'll hear about it. Thank you for calling me."

Lex turned the phone off and got up to join Marnie with the horses. "We should probably head back. I'm sure Stacy S. feels utterly abandoned at this point."

"I'm ready if you are," Marnie replied. "Should we clean that up?"

"I'm sure someone will take care of it," Lex said with confidence as he swung up on his horse.

Marnie followed suit and they rode off.

***

Stacy S. was pacing in the front hall waiting for Lex and Marnie to return. When the two of them appeared, walking up the path toward the house holding hands, Stacy S. swooped down on them immediately.

"Do you guys have any idea how long you've been gone?" Stacy S. demanded.

"I'd assume not more than an hour," Lex said calmly.

"It's been almost two hours, Lex. I expect at least that much of your time."

"Given your allergy to horses, it might be wise for me to shower first," Lex said.

"Good luck with that," Stacy S. said spitefully. "Apparently something's wrong with the water pressure. The hot tub is not working properly."

"That's handled on a separate system from the household water."

"Your caretaker doesn't seem to know that," Stacy S. said. "Perhaps you should reconsider his employment."

"I'll take that under advisement." Lex walked toward the stairs. "If you ladies will excuse me."

***

"Your caretaker?" Clark asked.

"I think she might have been referring to your father," Lex observed dryly.

"My Dad?"

"He was kind enough to oversee some of the crews while they were on the castle grounds."

"I didn't know that."

"When I agreed to do this and when they expressed an interest in shooting at the castle, I asked your Dad to help me out." Lex shrugged.

"And he said yes," Pete asked, startled.

"He must have because he was there. Though he did refuse to go on camera," Lex said with a smirk. "He wouldn't want anyone to think he actually approved of me."

Clark rolled his eyes. "He's not like that anymore, Lex."

"I know, Clark," Lex said, quietly as he patted Clark's knee gently. "He's been great to me through this."

Clark was stunned. "Really?"

"Yes, really. We still may not see eye to eye on some things, but I think he might actually like me now. And I know that I like and respect him." Lex turned his attention back to the screen. "Are we ready for more?"

***

Lex appeared at the bottom of the stairs in a new pair of black trousers and a pale purple shirt. He smiled at Marnie, who had also showered and changed. He then turned to Stacy S., who was impatiently tapping her toe on the marble floor.

"Would you ladies like to join me for a light lunch?" Lex asked.

"I'd love to," Marnie said with a smile.

"Of course," Stacy S. said as she commandeered Lex's arm and waited for him to lead the way to the dining room.

Lex smiled as they entered the room -- a full spread was laid out on the table.

***

Clark took in the spread on the table. "Lex?"

"Yes, Clark."

"Those look like Mom's dinner rolls."

"Yes, Clark. Your mother graciously agreed to make the food for this gathering. My regular cook was otherwise occupied -- feeding her son." Lex grinned.

***

"How was this prepared?" Stacy S. asked as she poked at a plate of potatoes.

"I'm sure I don't know," Lex replied.

"I don't think I can eat this."

"There are other alternatives, Stacy," Marnie pointed out reasonably as she took a small scoop of the scorned potatoes.

"I mean, I don't think I can eat any of this food. It looks so unappetizing and so heavy." She poked at a couple of the other dishes before scooping up a serving of the green salad. "This doesn't look too bad, though the vegetables could be fresher."

***

"What the hell?" Clark exclaimed. "How could you let her get away with that?"

"What makes you think I did, Clark?" Lex asked mildly. "Maybe we should watch a little more before you think the worst of me."

Clark gaped at his friend. He hadn't heard that wounded tone in a few years.

***

"I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood you," Lex said, coolly. "I'm certain you didn't just insult the person who worked hard to prepare this wonderful meal for us."

"Why would you care?" Stacy S. sniffed. "It's not like you made the food or anything. It's probably just catered, anyway."

"It's dangerous to make assumptions." Lex stared at Stacy S. until she began to squirm under his gaze. "As it happens, very dear friends made this meal for us. They would *never* use poor quality ingredients or serve us anything less than what they would serve their own family. I believe that you owe them an apology for your remarks."

"They couldn't even hear me, Lex," Stacy S. scoffed. "It's not like your *dear friends* are even here."

"That's hardly the point, my dear." Lex's voice was soft, silky, and deadly. "We're on camera. If, for some reason, they decide to air this footage, I want an apology *ON TAPE* because you have not only insulted them, but you've inadvertently jeopardized their business, and I won't stand for it."

"I'm sorry," Stacy S. whispered with a blush.

"I don't believe the cameras could pick that up. Please repeat it -- louder," Lex commanded.

"Fine. I'm sorry, okay?"

"That's fine. Now, you're welcome to leave. I have no interest in seeing you again -- ever." Lex waved the young woman away and turned his back to dismiss her.

"You can't do that, Lex," Stacy S. said. "You owe me two hours of private time."

"If I were forced to spend two hours alone with you, I'm not sure I could guarantee your safety." Lex frowned at her continued presence. "Am I going to have to call security to escort you from the premises?"

Before Stacy S. could argue again, a member of Lex's personal security team appeared, grabbed her elbow, and escorted her out of the dining room.

***

"That's why I never saw her again?" Clark asked, amazed at what Lex had done for him and his family.

"Do you honestly believe I would have chosen such a spoiled bitch?"

"Well, no, but I'm surprised they let you get rid of her before the elimination ceremony," Chloe said.

"No one says things like that about the Kents and gets away with it," Lex replied, his face darkening with remembered anger. "And I didn't want her anywhere near Clark again."

Clark flushed under Lex's intense regard, but held the other man's gaze and nodded to show he understood what Lex was trying to say without saying. It was, ultimately, about protecting Clark.

For Lex, it seemed like it was always about ‘protecting Clark,’ Clark mused. He could understand that, he felt the same way. Lex's safety -- physically and emotionally -- was the most important thing to Clark.

And then it hit him. Lex was the most important thing to him. 'Oh god,' Clark thought. 'I'm in love with Lex.'

Lex watched as a series of emotions he didn't understand played across Clark's face. However, he recognized the last one -- panic. He put a reassuring hand on Clark's arm, only to have Clark flinch away from him.

"It will be okay, Clark," Lex said quietly as he wrapped his arms around himself in a protective gesture. "I can get them to take that out if you want me to."

Clark swallowed nervously and shrugged. "We should call Dad and see what he wants us to do."

"We'll do that, then," Lex replied.

***

Marnie stood silently by while Lex fumed. He had pulled out his phone and immediately made a call, moving off camera as the call connected. All she heard him say was "This is Lex Luthor" before he vanished from sight.

She sighed and finished fixing her plate from the food prepared. She sat down at the long table, by herself, and took a long sip from her glass of water. She eyed the camera and said, "Surely you have something better to film than me eating, don't you?"

***

Lex reentered the dining room to find Marnie nibbling at the food on her plate. "Not hungry?"

"I was trying to wait for you," Marnie said. "Trouble averted?"

"I'd like to think so," Lex replied, smirking, as he started filling a plate. "Have you had a roll?"

"No, I didn't."

"You should really try one," Lex held one out to Marnie who waved it away. "Problem?"

"I don't eat bread."

"Okay, well, thank goodness I didn't select the bread pudding for dessert then."

"Indeed." Marnie plucked a roll from the basket and started to laugh when Lex raised an eyebrow. After she took a bite, she said, "This is so good, Lex."

“So that was . . .”

“Just wanted to make you laugh, Lex. And the rolls are wonderful.” Marnie took a bite of her perfectly cooked prime rib. “This is perfect, Lex.”

"Even though I had to let it sit, it's still wonderful," Lex agreed after taking a bite himself.

"So, what else do we have planned for today?"

"Why don't we just hang out here and see what comes up," Lex offered. "I have a masseur here, the hot tub, a sauna, a projection screen television, and a huge collection of DVDs. Really, we can do quite a bit without ever leaving the building."

"A massage would be wonderful," Marnie said.

"I'm good with that," Lex said. "I love a woman who knows her own mind."

***

The women were stunned to see Stacy S. storm into the house. Two security men were following her.

"Stacy?" Jennifer trailed after her. "What happened to your date with Lex?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Who are your friends?" Veronica asked.

"These are not my friends." Stacy stormed up to her room and began throwing things into her bags.

"What are you doing?" Delia asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing, genius?"

"Packing," Lindsey said. "But why are you packing?"

"Because my relationship with the show has been terminated."

"Are you about ready, Miss?" One of the men asked. "I have strict instructions."

"And those instructions would be?" Stacy asked imperiously.

"To limit your interaction with the remaining contestants," the second man said. "In fact, ladies, it would be a great help if you would go back to what you were doing."

"But we want to know what's going on," Jennifer whined.

"And I don't see why I can't tell them that Lex is a bastard," Stacy S. said with a perverse smile.

"That's enough, Miss," the first large man hustled the other women away as the second man picked up Stacy S.'s bags and escorted her out of the house over her protests.

***

Clark's eyes were huge as he realized that Lex had completely changed the game because of him. He noticed a couple of pieces of hair on his knee and he brushed them away. Looked like his, but who knew for sure.

He felt Lex's eyes on him and he smiled at him to reassure him that everything was okay.

"Are you okay?" Lex whispered.

"Fine," Clark said, quietly. "I just can't believe you did that for my family. After the way my Dad has treated you . . ."

"It's in the past, Clark. Besides, she was talking about Martha and your mother has never been anything but supportive of me."

"Oh, I can think of a couple of times," Pete said. "Fireworks, anyone?"

"Okay, so that wasn't my best plan," Lex said, laughing.

"You know, there can't be more than five minutes or so left at this point," Chloe said, tapping her watch. "I vote we watch the last few minutes without interruption."

"Agreed," the three men chorused as Lex restarted the tape.

***

Clark and Lex were welcoming the women to their mansion for the elimination ceremony when Clark realized they were a woman short.

"Where's Stacy S.?"

"Family problems," Marnie said. "She had to leave and go home to help with them."

Lex gave her the barest nod of acknowledgement that Clark completely missed.

"Oh, that's too bad," Clark said. "We should send flowers or fruit or something, Lex."

"Trust me, Clark. It's been taken care of," Lex said smoothly. "Perhaps we should mingle."

"You're right."

The camera panned wide to show Lex and Clark circulating among the group of women, each stopping to chat with one or two women at a time.

"Lex. Clark. It's time," Mark Michaels appeared at the edge of the scene and called to the two men. "You'll head up to the deliberation room, and I'll join you in a few minutes."

"Right," Lex smirked. "Like we haven't heard this before."

"Come on, Lex," Clark called from the stairs. Lex followed him up without looking back at the camera.

The two men stared at the photos of the women. Stacy S.'s photo was gone, which surprised Clark. "Wow, whatever happened to Stacy S. must have been serious. They even pulled her picture."

"It was unfortunate," Lex said. "Do you have any feelings about any of them?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Lex?" Clark replied with a grin.

"I think we can safely say that I two good dates and two horrible dates."

"Lex, are you ready to make your decisions?" Mark Mitchell asked, again appearing practically out of nowhere.

"I believe that I am, Mark," Lex said with quiet confidence. "Any twists this evening that we should be aware of?"

"Tonight's ceremony is quite straight forward. You pick and we're done," Mark replied, smiling. "I know we've thrown you some curves, but there's no twist tonight."

"Should I come with or wait up here," Clark asked.

"It's entirely up to you," Mark said magnanimously. "And Lex, of course."

"Lex, what do you want me to do?"

"It's up to you, Clark."

The camera pulled in close on Clark's face and the conflict was clear on his face. He clearly wanted to avoid what might be conflict, but he also wanted to be with Lex. "I --"

Lex took pity on his friend. "Clark, why don't you wait for me up here? This will only take a few minutes and then there's a movie waiting for us."

"Okay, Lex. I'll just go hang out in the entertainment room, then." Clark grinned.

Lex walked down the stairs to the five waiting women. He smiled at all of them, while waiting for Mark to speak.

"Ladies, tonight Lex will choose three of you to continue on this adventure with him. As usual, if you don't feel a connection with Lex, or if you feel that you don't want to go further, you are free to decline his offer. Does everyone understand?"

The camera panned all the women nodding their heads and eyeing Lex anxiously.

Lex nodded subtly, and a butler appeared carrying three rather large packages. He waved a hand toward the packages and said, "As you can see, I have gifts. This time, though, these gifts are for the women I haven't selected."

"Uh, Lex, that's not how we do it here," Mark said.

"Ah, but it's how *I* do things, Mark," Lex replied. "Now, as I was saying, these gifts are for those I haven't selected. I hope that you'll remember your time here fondly. Quite obviously, Stacy S.'s gift will be sent to her."

The five women shifted restlessly as they waited for Lex to continue.

"This time you're hoping *not* to hear your name called," Lex added with a smirk.

Mark gobbled, but didn't say anything. He was clearly staring at someone off-screen who seemed to wave him on. "Well, okay, then. Whenever you're ready, Lex," Mark said with false enthusiasm.

"First, let me say that this has been an enlightening week for me. I've gotten to see how each of you would handle some of the situations that you might encounter in your life with me. My life is not a bed of roses, and, as my wife, you would encounter situations that will be taxing for you and that will push your ability to be civil to the limit." Lex took a deep breath and said, "So, with that, I want to thank each of you for your interest, your dedication, and your passion. With that, I first want to speak with Lindsey."

Lindsey's face fell when she realized her name had been called. She walked up to Lex and allowed him to take her hand when he reached for it.

"I enjoyed our dates, Lex," Lindsey stammered.

"I thought you might have, Lindsey, but as I'm sure you've realized, you're simply not up for the strain of being my wife. I hope you will accept this gift with my fond wishes for your future," Lex replied, as he handed her a box.

Lindsey took the package and walked out of the mansion without looking back. She practically ran to the waiting limousine and dove in without looking back.

"Well, that was awkward," Lex said to Mark. "Perhaps this next one will go smoother. Jennifer, if I could speak with you please."

Jennifer stalked up to Lex and stood in front of him arms wrapped around her waist in a self-protective gesture. "Just let me leave," she pleaded.

"I certainly will," Lex replied. "I would like to give you this gift as a token of my appreciation."

"Fine, whatever," Jennifer took the box and tucked it under her arm as she turned her back on the other women. She also stalked out without speaking to the cameras.

"Obviously, this means that I would like the three of you to stay," Lex said. "So now I ask you, Marnie, would you please stay?"

"Of course, Lex," Marnie smiled as Lex slipped an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to her as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Delia, would you do me the honor of staying?"

"Absolutely," she said, turning so that Lex kissed her on the lips as he slipped her an envelope as well.

"Veronica, would you please consider staying for another date?" Lex smirked as he asked.

"I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else," Veronica said, pressing herself against Lex. She made sure that she kissed Lex thoroughly before releasing him.

Mark stepped in and said, "Please join us next time when Lex will take each of these women to meet his family. Until then, I'm Mark Michaels, saying good night."

***

"Wow," Chloe said, eyes wide. "So what can you tell us about what we didn't see?"

"For example?" Lex asked.

"Well, what happened with Jennifer?" Pete asked. "She was fine, man."

"I suppose," Lex said, steepling his fingers in front of him. He looked at Clark to assess how comfortable he would be with Lex telling some of these stories.

Clark noticed Lex's attention and started to blush. "What? It didn't have anything to do with me, did it?"

"Well, I didn't realize that she was interested in you at the time," Lex began.

"She was not," Clark denied hotly.

"She *so* was, man," Pete said. "You could call her now and I bet she'd go out with you."

"She would not. She wanted Lex. They *all* wanted Lex."

"Oh, come on, Clark. She wanted you and she would have given Lex up in a second if she thought she would have had a chance at you," Chloe said.

Clark looked more and more miserable as the teasing continued. "I wasn't there to find a date; I was there to help Lex find a wife."

"We know, Clark," Lex said. He placed a comforting hand on Clark's shoulder. "What she might have though was immaterial, you were there for me, and I appreciate that more than you know."

Clark calmed down under Lex's reassuring hand and tried to focus on the conversation at hand. "So what did happen on that date?"

"It was memorable." Lex smirked. "But not in the good way."

"What does that mean?" Pete demanded.

"She had a very different idea of what we would be doing and how the evening would progress than I did," Lex said. "It would seem that dining with the stars meant someone named Brad and Jen and not Orion and Cassiopia."

"We got that from the tape, Lex," Chloe said. "What we want to know is -- what didn't we see?"

"Ahhh, the secrets of 'Single Millionaire'." Lex made air quotes with his fingers. "As you could see, the date didn't go well from the start. You all know how I get when people are late."

"We know, Lex," Pete said. "And even if we didn't know, the fact that Clark NEVER makes you wait would make it clear."

"Is that so?" Lex stared at Clark. When Clark started blushing, Lex quickly started explaining his date again. "So, after having to wait an interminable amount of time -- and I'm still not quite certain what took so long."

"It takes a great deal of effort to look good enough to be on your arm, Lex," Chloe said.

"Be that as it may, production provided the clothes, stylists, and jewelry. I do not understand what took so long." Lex waved a frustrated hand when Chloe started to speak again. "Anyway, the wait was horrible, and then when we got in the limousine, she started talking about movie stars and pop icons. I don't think she paused for breath in the first ten minutes."

Lex paused to take a sip of water. "She finally asked a question, though, when we weren't heading for the airport."

"Why would you need the airport to get to the planetarium?" Clark asked.

"She thought we were going to a movie premiere, Clark," Lex said patiently.

"Oh," Clark said, blushing again. He should have known that. The only excuse he could offer, he wouldn't offer to Lex. He was completely off kilter, but he didn't want Lex to realize it.

"So, what happened," Pete asked.

"Well, she didn't take it too hard at first. She thought, I suppose, that there was a star-studded benefit waiting for us inside. She was incensed when we went inside and there was no one."

"No one?" Chloe echoed.

"Right, it was a private date, and Clark had arranged for us to have the planetarium for ourselves. They were going to do a special show for us while we picnicked on the floor of the planetarium." Lex rolled his eyes. "We never got that far. She pitched a tantrum at being 'set up,' in her words. She felt we had played her for a fool."

"I don't know that I blame her, Lex. I wouldn't have felt great about discovering the stars weren't what I expected," Chloe said.

"But there were supposed to be dates that were about things Lex enjoys," Clark protested.

"They really seemed to be dates that were centered around things that you and Lex enjoy doing," Pete said.

"But that wasn't what they were about. Lex likes the planetarium, and the museum, and his racing team."

"Yes, he does, Clark," Chloe said, "but he only does those things with you."

"I don't know if that's true." Lex ran a hand over his scalp as he considered what Chloe had said. "I suppose, though, that all current evidence would indicate that I only do these things with Clark."

Clark felt his heart soar at Lex's statement. He was so high, he almost missed the end of his thoughts.

" . . . mean that if I had another alternative I wouldn't do those things with someone else."

Clark frowned, but tried to hide his reaction from his friends by taking a huge swallow from his drink. He ended up choking on it and having Lex pound him on the back. A shower of hair fell off Clark and onto Lex's arm and the couch.

"You're the reason I don't have a dog, Clark."

"Huh?"

"You shed worse than any mutt I've ever seen." Lex valiantly restrained himself from brushing away the hair that Clark had shed on his sofa. The small pile was more than he could remember Clark shedding at any one sitting, but he wasn't particularly concerned about it.

"Like you'd let a mutt in your penthouse," Chloe said with a snort.

Lex arched an eyebrow as he cast glances at the three of them, but refrained from comment.

Chloe debated whether she should say something or not in response to Lex's look, but her curiosity got the better of her. "So what were the gifts this week?"

"It wasn't kind, I'll admit," Lex smirked. "The boxes contained that recent biography of me. I actually like that one."

"Oh, Lex," Clark muttered and shook his head. He noticed more hair falling from his head out of the corner of his eye.

Lex eyed Clark carefully. "You don't approve?"

"What was the point of giving them the book other than to rub their faces in not getting you," Clark said.

"I signed it," Lex said defensively.

"Like that helps," Pete said.

"Okay, what would you have done?" Lex demanded.

"Well, I would have given them something nice that would help them feel better about losing you." Clark considered what would make him feel better for losing Lex and realized that there was nothing that would make him feel better.

"And what would you have given them?" Lex demanded.

"I guess a trip or something," Clark said. He kept staring off into space and thinking about how things were going to be when Lex married the girl he picked. Clark didn't even think in “ifs”, he knew that Lex would marry this one, and he would lose his best friend and the person he'd chosen to love.

"That's interesting, Clark. Perhaps I'll send along some tickets somewhere to make up for my less than appropriate gifts."

"Maybe you should," Clark said.

"So, what was in the envelopes, Lex?" Chloe asked, having lost interest in the debate about the appropriateness of the gifts Lex had given the losers.

"I'm afraid that information will have to remain classified until the next episode," Lex said.

"Oh, come on, Lex, who am I going to tell?" Chloe pleaded.

"Aren't you working for the Met U newspaper this term?" Pete asked, only to get smacked by Chloe.

"Thank you for making my case, Mr. Ross," Lex said with a smile. "I hate to call an end to this evening, but I have some delicate negotiations to deal with tonight, so that I can 'play' tomorrow."

The three visitors got up from the couch and Clark watched more hair shower from his head onto the floor. "Man, I must have done something horrible to my hair," Clark commented as he looked at the cloud surrounding him.

"Yes, well, you have a long way to go before you share my hair situation," Lex said, running a hand over his scalp.

"You wish," Clark said, sticking his tongue out at Lex.

"That's just what I need, Clark. A tall, extremely muscular bald guy hanging around. Like that wouldn't attract attention," Lex frowned.

***

Clark rode home with Chloe and Pete but didn't contribute much to the conversation. He was grateful that Chloe was attributing it to the fact that they were speculating about who Lex would eliminate next.

“So you really can't give us a clue, Clark,” Chloe asked, batting her eyes in a flirtatious way.

“No, I can't,” Clark said.

“Is there something in your eye, Chlo?” Pete asked.

“No,” Chloe replied, disgusted. “I was trying to flirt with him.”

“As if flirting with Clark ever got you anywhere,” Pete said.

“There's no harm in trying,” Chloe said, flipping Pete the bird as she careened into a parking place. “Okay, everybody out. This ride is done for the night.”

Pete and Clark got out of the car quickly. It was a rare thing that Chloe drove them anywhere, Clark was willing to bet that her driving record would be worse than Lex's when she reached his current age, but tonight, Pete had been running late and she was really psyched about driving, so they'd let her.

“Man, I'm never running late again,” Pete said as he stared at the ground worshipfully.

“Either that, or I'm taking Lex up on his offer of a car because I don't think I can do that again,” Clark said.

“Yeah man, but you're indestructible. It's not like she's going to hurt you. Me, on the other hand, guys gotta worry about protecting his assets - you know what I mean?” Pete nudged Clark with a shoulder.

“Sure do, Pete,” Clark grinned. It fell immediately, though, when he realized that more hair had fallen out from the gentle push. “What the hell is going on with my hair?”

“Dude, you didn't piss off one of the guys on your hall, did you?”

“I don't think so, why?”

“Well, you know, I've heard they'll do things like put Nair in your shampoo and stuff. That would really suck, but Chloe says it will only make you bald in patches because it doesn't work so well when it's diluted.”

“And she would know this, why?” Clark asked dubiously.

“She's a girl, man. They use that shit, you know?” Pete raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

“Oh, right, right.” Clark rushed to agree before Pete started quizzing him - again - on why he hadn't had a date in a year. He just wasn't ready to share his latest revelation with anyone - even his good buddy, Pete. And if that didn't conjure up Sesame Street images, he didn't know what would.

“Well, I'm beat, man. I'm gonna go hit the sheets.” Pete started off toward his dormitory. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Maybe. I don't know what Lex has planned,” Clark replied.

“You know, I'll be glad when this show is over,” Pete muttered as he walked away. “I kind of miss having you around more.”

Clark frowned at the words he wasn't really supposed to hear. He was trying not to neglect Pete or Chloe, but now he just couldn't give up a second of the time he might have with Lex - not when he knew it was going to end soon and that he would have to share Lex with someone.

***

Clark went up to his room and changed into his customary sleeping outfit - flannel pajama pants and an old t-shirt - and then sat on his desk and stared out into space.

“Why didn't I figure this out, oh, six months ago?” He muttered to himself. “If I'd figured it out then, I might have had a chance.” He scuffed his foot on the floor and then said, “Oh, who am I kidding? Lex isn't interested in me. He never has been and he never will be now.”

Clark couldn't believe how bad his luck really was - he finally realizes, after all this time, that he's in love, really in love -- this was nothing like the crush he'd had on Lana back in high school - and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. Even if he wanted to, Lex was taken. Spoken for. ENGAGED, for Christ's sake. He couldn't compete with that. He couldn't mess up a relationship that Lex had longed for and wanted so badly that he'd been willing to go on a *reality* show in order to have it.

Clark pushed up off his desk and frowned at yet another cloud of hair that was drifting from his head toward the desk.

“Maybe I did piss somebody off,” Clark muttered as he climbed up to his bed. He'd long since realized that sleeping with his bed lofted minimized the chances that someone would walk in and discover him floating. At most they'd think his good friend Lex Luthor had gotten him a really big mattress or something.

As he closed his eyes, Clark hoped that he wouldn’t spend the night dreaming of Lex. Doing that would only make hanging out with the other man the next day that much more difficult.

***

When Clark awoke the next morning, he noticed an alarming amount of hair on his pillow. He wasn't particularly worried, though, because he had so much hair. His mother always told him how lucky he was that his hair was so thick and healthy.

He headed down to the shower, ignoring the catcalls from the guys on the hall. He wasn't sure what was going on, and with these guys he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He'd been getting a fair amount of shit since the show had started airing, and most of the comments seemed to still be in that vein. Although he wasn't sure about the 'trying too hard, aren't you?' comments.

He got in the shower and started scrubbing down -- saving his hair for last, as he always did. He poured some shampoo into his hand and went to run it through his hair.

"Oh shit!" Clark shouted as his hand hit scalp. "Shit!"

He jumped out of the shower and ran to a mirror. "Oh god! What the hell?"

He ran his hands over his head again -- it was totally smooth. No hair on his head at all. He tucked his towel around his waist and sprinted -- at human speed -- back to his room.

He peered into the mirror that his mother had hung on his wall when he'd moved in. He grabbed a phone and called Pete.

After six rings, someone picked up, grumbling, "Who the hell is this?"

"Pete, man, it's Clark."

"What the hell, Clark. It's too fucking early. What do you want, dude?"

"I need help here, Pete. You've gotta come over -- RIGHT NOW!" Clark shouted into the phone.

"Calm the hell down, Clark. Nothing is this urgent, dude. Let me get a couple more hours sleep and then I'll come over."

Pete started to hang up the phone when he heard Clark shout, "No wait, Pete! God, I need help right now."

"Dude, what's wrong?" Pete asked.

"Freaky shit, Pete. You've got to come over. Please, before Lex gets here."

"All right, all right, dude. Give me time to pull on some pants and I'll be there," Pete said. "But you owe me for this."

"I know, I know," Clark assured his friend.

***

"Clark, man, open up," Pete called as he pounded on Clark's door.

The door opened partially, and a hand pulled Pete into the room and slammed the door behind him.

Pete's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Dude, you are totally bald."

"I know," Clark moaned. "What am I going to do?"

"Let me get a look at the damage. Maybe we can cover your head with a hat or something." Pete was trying gamely to find a bright side or something they could work with. He walked around Clark slowly and was stunned to see that there was not a single hair left on Clark's head. He let out a soft whistle.

"What!" Clark shouted.

"There's not even any stubble." Pete circled his friend again. "Looks a lot like Lex actually."

"Oh, god," Clark moaned again. "There's got to be something we can do."

Pete stared at Clark. "You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not kidding. Lex is going to be here soon. What am I going to do?"

"Can't you cancel? Buy us some time to come up with something?" Pete asked.

"I guess I could try," Clark said, doubtfully. "Are you going to come up with something?"

"I'm going to try, dude." Pete wondered when it was decided that he had to come up with all the solutions for Clark's crazy ass problems, but apparently he had. And to think he could have gone to Kansas State, but no, he’d decided to stick with his best friends. Today was one of the days that he questioned his own judgment. "Look, I've got to go to class, man, but I'll be back as soon as I can. Try not to panic, and see if you can find a hat or something in here."

Clark closed the door as Pete left and wandered back to his mirror. He continued to stare at himself in the mirror, until there was a knock at the door.

Oh, shit. There was no way Clark could face any of the bozos he shared a floor with again. He froze in place, hoping that whoever was knocking would go away if they were led to believe that Clark wasn't around. There was a second knock, more vigorous this time.

"Dammit, Clark. Open up if you're in there."

Double shit. It was Lex.

Pete. He should call Pete and make him come back. Yeah, Pete would rag on him for calling him back right after he'd just left Clark's place, but it was worth it. Pete would know what to do. Actually, he probably wouldn't. But at least Clark wouldn't have to watch what he was saying while he was freaking out.

"Clark, I saw Pete leaving, so I know you've got to be there. Open the damn door."

"Clark, I hear you moving around in there. If you don't open the door, I'm going to have to assume there's something severely wrong, and I'll have to call campus security."

Campus security's arrival was guaranteed to make Clark's dorm mates gather, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs, even if - as he now was realizing was inevitable - it meant letting Lex in. He just hoped that Lex would understand.

Just what he hoped Lex would understand, Clark still didn't understand.

Realizing he didn't have much choice, Clark opened his door, just a crack - enough to peer out at Lex but not enough for Lex to see too much.

"Good morning, Clark," Lex said. "May I come in?"

"Uh...Lex, I just got up. I haven't showered or dressed yet. I look horrible." Clark knew it was a total lie, but what was one more at this point?

"Come on," Lex said. "I've seen you right after you've mucked out stalls. No reason to be vain. And we need to talk."

Sighing, Clark moved slightly and opened the door enough to let Lex in, then closed it again as soon as Lex had crossed the threshold.

"Tell me, Clark," Lex started in a genial tone, but then cut himself off as he turned to look at Clark. He froze a minute, taking in Clark's baldness. "Is this some sort of sick joke?" Lex asked, his tone sharpening.

"What? No!" Clark, despite knowing that would likely be Lex's first reaction, was upset by the accusation. "I didn't do anything. It just...fell out."

"All your hair fell out overnight?" Lex's incredulity was obvious.

"Look at my pillow! And remember last night, when you complained I was shedding? That's, I think, when it started."

"Clark, that's just not normal."

"I know." Clark sighed. "Yet another abnormality in my life."

"Yet another unexplained phenomenon in the mystery that is Clark Kent." Lex turned back toward the door. "You know, Clark, sometimes there's just too much that's unexplained." He opened the door and was gone before Clark could even begin to move.

"Lex, come back!" Clark called into the hallway, but all that returned was the echo of his own voice. Under his dorm window, he could hear the limo pulling away.

With a burst of speed - not as fast as his personal best, but Ben Johnson or Michael Johnson fast - Clark was out of his dorm room and following the limo. He couldn't afford to actually stop the limo on its way to the penthouse - after all, that would raise even more questions than Clark's baldness. He followed the car as it pulled into the underground garage and then sped up the stairs to the penthouse, completely bypassing LexCorp Tower security. Clark took a calculated gamble that Lex would head for home before the office and lurked in the shadows as he waited for Lex to arrive.

He watched as Lex and his assistant got out of the elevator. Had he tried, he could have eavesdropped on their conversation, but he knew that Lex would not share what had happened at Clark's dorm, and therefore there was no reason to listen in on the conversation.

As they came closer, Clark could hear Lex's voice. From his tone of voice, no one would have been able to guess that anything unusual had happened that morning.

"Fax the specs to Lipton's office so that they can get the estimate back to us. I will be down in the office in about half an hour; I hope to have a response back by the time I come in."

"Yes, Mr. Luthor."

Lex let himself into the penthouse as Maxwell headed back toward the elevator. Once Clark saw the elevator doors close and heard the snick of the lock being reengaged, he emerged from his hiding place. He approached the penthouse door but hesitated before knocking. What if Lex was still angry? What if Lex wouldn't speak to him, wouldn't hear him out?

But then he realized that if he didn't do this, Lex would likely never talk to him again and would continue to think that Clark was mocking him. Finally, Clark knocked.

"Maxwell? Did you hear back from Lipton already?" Clark heard the lock being shot back, and then the door opened. For one second, Clark considered speeding away before Lex could see him. But then the door was wide enough for Lex to see out.

"Clark? What are you doing here?" Lex's tone was businesslike, one Clark recognized but that he had never heard aimed at him before. He'd heard Lex angry, sure, but never dismissive in this way.

"I..." Now that he was going to have to explain why he'd come to the penthouse, he couldn't find the words.

"You...what? Felt that humiliating me at your dorm wasn't sufficient and decided to come here to try again?"

"No, Lex. It's not like that at all. Do you really think I'd do this to mock you?"

"I never would have thought so before, but I've been seeing a lot of non-Clark-like behavior from you while watching the incidents I missed while I was out on my dates. I'm honestly not sure what you would do and what you wouldn't anymore."

"That's not fair," Clark said. "Some of those things the producers made me do; others were taken completely out of context."

"OK, I might be able to believe that, given how they've edited incidents I personally witnessed. But...if you were going to choose to humiliate me, the one thing I could see you choosing - knowing what you know about my vulnerabilities - would be my appearance. And it seems quite coincidental that your stress reaction would perfectly mimic my...condition."

"Lex, you have to believe me."

"No, Clark, actually I don't. And I have a lot of work to do. So please leave me to my work." Lex stepped back from the doorway and closed the door.

Clark stood, dumbfounded, staring at the closed penthouse door. He considered knocking again, but he didn't have any more coherent to say to Lex than he already had said. He walked to the elevator and pushed the down button, suddenly wanting to be gone before Lex came out of the penthouse again.

Clark nodded to the security guard as he walked out of the building. Under other circumstances, he would have been much more amused by the confused expression on the guard's face as Clark walked past. But right now, he had only one thought. He had to find Pete; he needed to know what solution Pete had come up with for this mess. And while he had no doubt that Pete would continue to rag on him for his current situation, it would be worth it, if he had an idea how to fix it or how to fix the mess with Lex.

He ran back to the dorm and locked himself in, determined not to open the door again until Pete came over. Looking at his watch, he figured that it would be at least a half hour until Pete was out of class, so he called Pete's cell phone, leaving a message he hoped would sound urgent but not life-or-death. "Pete, it's Clark. I need your help -- again. Come by after class, OK?"

Now Clark had a bit of time to think, and he didn't like any of what came to mind. Lex hated him. That was all that he could figure out. Because all the time they'd known each other, Lex had never treated him so callously. And the ultimate was Lex accusing him of deliberately mocking Lex's appearance. Clark would never do that; Lex should know better than to think he would. But Lex wasn't listening to reason.

Pete was coming, though. So maybe he could help Clark figure out what to say to Lex to get him to listen. Or, better yet, maybe Pete would go and talk to Lex for him. Yeah, that would work. He just had to find a way to convince Pete to do it.

Clark was considering his options when there was a knock on his dorm room door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Pete, man, as summoned. Open up."

Clark went to the door, opened it but stayed out of view of the hallway, and then shut the door the minute Pete entered.

"How's it going, Cue-ball?" Pete asked, smirking at Clark.

"Pete, it's not funny."

"Yeah, it is," Pete replied. Then, more seriously, he asked, "Any more ideas why it happened?"

"Not a clue," Clark said. "Though, with my luck, it's some weird Kryptonian shit." He sighed. "I keep wondering what's next, whether all my body hair will fall out next. Every month that goes by, I get more comfortable, start believing that all the weird alien shit that could happen to me has already happened, that there won't be any more surprises. And then - *bam* - something like this happens, and it's like high school all over again." Clark sighed again. "And this time...this time, Lex thinks I'm doing it deliberately, that I'm making fun of him."

Pete laughed. "That idiot. Like you would ever make fun of him. Of anyone, you'd be the last one to taunt him about his baldness."

This, Clark figured, was his opening. "Maybe you would be able to convince him of that. I sure couldn't."

"Me? Why would you want me? Make Chloe do it."

"Pete, I can't make Chloe do anything. And I'm definitely not asking her to do this."

"Well, why the hell not?"

"Because I don't want her to know I'm bald!" Clark yelled. "She's already treating me like I'm some kind of freak, since this whole Millionaire thing started. This would just give her more ammunition."

"Clark, no. I'm not going to do it. Hell, I can barely stand the guy myself."

"Please?" Clark asked, using the sad-puppy face he knew always worked on his mother.

"No."

"Well, if Lex and I aren't talking to each other soon, I can almost guarantee that none of us will be welcome at the Penthouse on Thursday for the preview of the next episode." Clark tried to remember if there was anything in the next episode - the next-to-last episode - that was potentially damaging to his reputation. Maybe, if he were lucky, he wouldn't have to attend the next viewing.

"Oh, damn. No more previewing the hotties on that gigantic screen? OK, Clark. For that, I'll allow you to manipulate me into going to talk to Lex."

Clark smiled for the first time that morning. "I knew you'd see it my way."

"Yeah, yeah," Pete said. "Now tell me what happened when Lex showed up here." He settled himself on the corner of Clark's desk.

Pete was silent as Clark told him first about Lex's visit to Clark's dorm room and then about the encounter outside the penthouse.

"Ouch," Pete said when Clark finally wound down. "That's harsh."

"No kidding," Clark said. "I think he meant it, too. I think he really believed that I'd do something like that to mock him."

"OK," Pete said. "So what do you expect me to do?"

"Talk to him; make him understand that I didn't mean anything the way he took it. Get him to stop slamming doors in my face."

"I'll do what I can, but no promises, man."

"Thanks, Pete," Clark said. "I hate it when Lex and I are fighting."

"So do the rest of us," Pete mumbled under his breath. Clark heard the comment but decided that having one best friend angry with him at a time was enough.

"OK," Pete said, standing up. "I'm off to beard the Lex in his den."

"Dammit, Pete, that's not funny!"

"It's just an expression, man. Lighten up!" Pete grinned. "And, you gotta admit, from where I'm sitting, it's damned pretty ironic."

"What's so funny?"

"I've been waiting years for you and Lex to have a falling out. I've been sittin' on the sidelines since we were sixteen, man. And now that you are on the outs, who gets sent to make peace? Me!"

"You're a good friend, Pete. The best."

"And don't you forget it, Cue-ball." Pete walked to the door. "OK, man. I'm on my way. And remember - you owe me one."

"You got it."

Pete headed out of Clark's dorm and out onto the street. As he headed for the penthouse, he began to formulate a plan in his head. Lex needed a wake-up call, and who better than Pete to be the one to give it?

As he pulled into the underground garage, Pete waved to Miguel, the guard at the entry. Miguel came over.

"So, my young friend, what brings you here? And without your adorable blonde girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," Pete said. "And I'm here to see Lex."

"Is Mr. Luthor expecting you?" Pete had been through this the first night he and Chloe had come for their Thursday night gathering, but for the past three weeks, Miguel had just waved him through. This inspection was an unexpected wrinkle.

"No, he's not, Miguel." Pete paused. "Look, Miguel, please give me a break on this. I'm only here because Clark's blackmailing me. Otherwise, there's no way I'd be doing this."

"On behalf of Mr. Kent?" Miguel asked. "Well, in that case...no."

"Come on, man. Clark and Lex are all pissed at one another, and Clark and Lex aren't talking. And, look, honestly, if it weren't Clark, I never would've agreed to do this. You gotta let me go talk to Lex."

"I don't 'gotta' do anything, Mr. Ross. And Mr. Luthor would be completely within his rights to fire me for letting you up unauthorized."

"Look," Pete said, "I'm desperate here. What if I were to get Clark to vouch for my mission here? Would you then let me in without telling Lex that I'm here?"

“That’s not going to help anything, Mr. Ross. Mr. Luthor declared Mr. Kent persona non grata about a half an hour ago.”

Pete reeled inwardly from that piece of information. The situation was much more serious than he’d thought. “Okay, here’s the thing. I kind of figured that, but Clark left his books for class in the penthouse and if he doesn’t have them he’s going to be in serious trouble.”

Miguel thought for just a couple of seconds, frowning because he’d always liked young Mr. Kent. "If you can get Mr. Kent to corroborate your story, then I will let you up without informing Mr. Luthor. If not, however, I'll be calling Mr. Luthor for his permission to let you up."

Pete sighed in relief. "Great." Pete pulled out his phone and dialed Clark. "Clark, man. Thank goodness you're there. Miguel won't let me up to get your books. Can you talk to him?" Pete listened for a moment then handed the phone to the guard.

"Yes, Mr. Kent?" There was a moment of silence, then, "I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, of course. I will send him up directly. Sorry to bother you, Mr. Kent." Miguel turned off the phone and handed it back to Pete. "OK, Mr. Ross," he said. "Mr. Kent said that he did, indeed, leave some books here, so I guess I can send you up to the penthouse to get them. But this is a one-time thing, OK?"

"Yes," Pete said. "I appreciate this, man."

"Here, kid," Miguel said, pulling a visitor's pass off the desk in the guard booth, "put this in your windshield and use the bottom part as your entrance badge at the front desk. This will keep them from harassing you when you go in."

"Hey, thanks, man," Pete said, grinning widely. This was more than he'd expected, considering Miguel's previous reticence to let him in.

When Miguel nodded, Pete rolled up his window and continued into the parking garage. As he searched for a parking space, he thought about what approach he'd take with Lex. On the one hand, he'd love to just go up there and put Luthor in his place. He needed to learn that normal people don't treat their friends like trash. On the other hand, though, he owed it to Clark not to make the situation any worse than it already was. Not that he could guarantee he'd be able to fix the current tear in Clark's friendship with Lex, but Clark was depending on him not to make things more strained.

After finally finding a space - Pete realized that he should have considered the possibility that the garage would be more crowded during business hours than at night - he headed in to the main lobby of LexCorp's headquarters.

Much to Pete's surprise, the guard at the front desk did, in fact, wave him right through upon seeing the temporary pass that he had affixed to his jacket. Likely there would be additional security up on the executive floor, but Pete figured he would deal with that obstacle when he actually encountered it. For all he knew, all the security was here on the entry floor. Though, knowing Lex, that was highly unlikely.

Pete found his way to the elevator to the executive offices and began his ascent to Lex's office. He still hadn't formulated what he'd say when he saw Lex. "Well," he said aloud into the silence of the elevator car, "I guess I'll just have to wing it."

The door opened onto a plush waiting area staffed by a receptionist. She looked up the moment the elevator doors opened.

"How may I help you?" she asked Pete in a professional tone.

"Uh...I'm here to see Lex."

"Is Mr. Luthor expecting you?"

"No, he isn't," Pete answered.

"Mr. Luthor is in meetings all day; if you leave whatever documentation you are delivering, I will make sure he receives it." Now the receptionist's tone was a bit colder, as if she had sized up Pete and found him undesirable.

"I don't have papers for him; I'm here to speak to him personally."

"If you don't have an appointment, I'm afraid that you won't be able to see him this morning," the receptionist said, and Pete could almost imagine the frost forming with each word. "Next time, please make an appointment. Have a nice day." She turned away from Pete, returning to whatever she had been working on before his arrival.

"You don't understand! I have to speak to Lex, or Clark will kill me." Pete couldn't believe that he'd made it all the way to Lex's office only to be turned away. He also couldn't believe that he was pleading to see Lex Luthor. “Besides, how busy can he be? He was supposed to be doing something – god only knows what – with Clark today, and that wasn’t even canceled until an hour ago.”

"I'm sorry, but..."

"But I can't see Mr. Luthor if I don't have an appointment. Yeah, I get it." Pete sighed heavily. Damn, but Clark was going to owe him big-time for all this.

The receptionist returned yet again to her work, and Pete began to pace the reception area. After a few minutes, the receptionist spoke up again.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Pete stopped pacing and walked over to the receptionist's desk. "I'm waiting to speak to Mr. Luthor."

"For the last time - you will not be able to speak to Mr. Luthor today if you don't have an appointment."

"I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable." Pete tried to remember all the phrases he'd heard his mother use in this sort of situation. "I must meet with Mr. Luthor on urgent business."

The receptionist's businesslike veneer cracked minutely. "If it were so urgent, it would have been advisable to make an appointment."

Pete put his hands on the desk in front of him and leaned forward. "You don't understand," Pete said, raising his voice. "I can't leave until I've spoken to Lex."

"I'm sorry," the receptionist repeated for what Pete figured was at least the hundredth time, "Mr. Luthor is not available, and if you refuse to leave, I will be forced to call security."

Pete didn't move.

The receptionist picked up her phone's handset and pushed a button on the panel in front of her. "Yes," she said into the telephone. "This is Ms. James in Mr. Luthor's office. I need Security to come immediately." She paused, then said "Thank you" and hung up the phone.

Within minutes, two security guards stepped out of the elevator. "What's the problem, Ms. James?" one of them asked.

"This gentleman refuses to leave the premises, though I've told him that he cannot meet with Mr. Luthor."

The other guard took Pete's arm. "Come with us, sir," he said firmly.

"No!" Pete yelled. "You can't kick me out!"

"Yes, we can," the first guard said. "And we will." The guard holding Pete started walking him toward the elevator.

"Is there a problem here?" Pete relaxed slightly when he heard Lex's voice. This may not have been the optimal way to get a meeting with Lex, but in the end the result was the same.

"This man wants to meet with you, but he doesn't have an appointment and has not stated his business," Ms. James replied.

"You never asked what my business was," Pete muttered as he tried to extract his arm from the guard's grip.

"How can I help you, Mr. Ross?" Lex asked.

"Can you get this gorilla to let go of me?" Pete asked.

"Mr. Ross is not a threat," Lex said to the guard who was holding him. "You can release him; I will make sure he leaves peacefully."

"OK, Mr. Luthor," the guard said, relaxing his hold on Pete's arm. Then, acknowledging that they'd been dismissed, the two guards went back toward the elevator.

"So, Mr. Ross, what's so important that you had to disrupt what was already a busy day?"

“Cut the bullshit, Lex. I know you were planning to spend the day with Clark today. How busy could you possibly be?” Pete scoffed.

“It’s a busy day now, Mr. Ross,” Lex replied, dismissively. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

"I have to talk to you, Lex. It's important."

"Shall we talk in my office?" Lex asked, turning back to the receptionist. "Thank you, Ms. James. Mr. Ross will not be bothering you any further. Please hold my calls; if London calls, tell them that our meeting will be pushed back twenty minutes."

Lex led Pete through a door off the reception area and into a quiet corridor. The décor resembled that of the penthouse, but without any of the personal touches that Lex had added to his home.

At the end of the corridor, Lex opened a heavy set of double wooden doors. "After you, Mr. Ross," he said, gesturing for Pete to enter.

While Pete had gotten quite comfortable with being at Lex's private apartment, this was the first time he had ever been in Lex's office, and he found it to be every inch as intimidating as it was meant to be. This was the office of a powerful man, a man who could, and did, make decisions that affected hundreds if not thousands of people's lives. And Pete was about to attempt to go up against that power. For a moment, he considered backing out, friendship with Clark be damned. But only for a moment.

As Pete had been staring goggle-eyed at his surroundings, Lex had settled himself back behind his desk. "So, Mr. Ross," Lex said, "now that you've disrupted my schedule to suit your own needs, how can I help you?"

"Look, Lex," Pete said, "Cut the bullshit, would you? I had to see you. I promised Clark."

"Yes," Lex said, his tone even, "Clark can be very persuasive."

"You gotta understand, Lex. Clark didn't mean to hurt you. Hell, you're the best friend he's got - even better than me. And let me tell you, that part hurts. But that's not important right now. I hate seeing Clark like this - all mopey, all poor-me. So if coming to you to beg for your forgiveness on his behalf does anything to improve Clark's mood, I'll do it."

"That's very loyal of you, Mr. Ross."

"Yeah, loyalty," Pete said, giving up all attempts at a professional, calm attitude. "You used to know something about that. Look at how much Clark has sacrificed for you! He gave up his summer break to go off on some crazy-assed publicity stunt for you. What's the result? His parents' business has lost customers! And while that's the most recent example, it's not the only one. So when some absolutely fucked-up shit happens to him, and he's freaking out and scared, what happens? You, his best friend in the whole, wide world, think it's all about you, and you storm off in a huff!"

"Not my strongest debate tactic," Lex conceded.

"Think, man. Be rational about this. Is Clark the type of guy who'd shave his head just to hurt you?"

"Before the last few weeks, I wouldn't have thought so. But I'm finding out that there's a lot about Clark that I didn't know before."

Pete struggled against his desire to say something stupid like "You don't know the half of it." Instead, he said, "You know who Clark is. You know he's not intentionally mean to people. It's not in his nature."

"You and I both know that he sometimes has...a changeable nature," Lex said.

Think fast, Pete admonished himself. "Yeah, but that was back in high school. That hasn't happened in years."

"Look, Pete," Lex said. "I know you mean well. I know you're doing this for Clark's sake. You'd most likely be more than happy to see me out of Clark's life for good."

"Yeah," Pete said reluctantly.

"I can't see him right now. I just can't. I need some time to myself, time I'm not in the office. Give me a couple of days, and I might see things differently. But right now, I can't see Clark."

"You see that thing on your desk, Lex?" Pete asked. "It's a phone. You know Clark is sitting by his phone, waiting for you to call him and tell him all is forgiven."

Lex held up a hand. "At this point, I am unable to talk to Clark. Tell him...tell him I'll be in touch over the weekend. That's the best I can do."

"Dammit, Lex! I feel like I'm back in tenth grade or something. You aren't talking to Clark; Clark's not talking to you. I'm the go-between, stuck in the middle of two warring factions. Been there, done that. I don't want to do it again."

"Just this once, Pete. Consider it your penance for bulldozing your way into my office, even if you were doing it at Clark's request."

Pete sighed. "And then I'm out of this, OK? Any more communication between the two of you either has to be direct, or you've got to find another sucker. I can't stand being caught in the middle like this. Next time, either use Chloe or you're on your own."

"Oh, I doubt there will be another situation quite like this one," Lex said.

"Thank God." Pete walked to the door. "So, I'm outta here. You'll keep the attack dogs at bay? I promise to go straight to my car and not cause any more problems."

"Yes, Pete. You'll be allowed out unscathed."

"That's a relief." Pete turned to the double doors, hesitated briefly as if he were preparing himself to be accosted despite Lex's assurances, and left, leaving Lex to his business and his thoughts. He'd tried. Hell, he'd almost gotten himself arrested on Clark's behalf. That was the best he could do.

Now he just had to break that news to Clark.

END (for now)

Eliminated this round: Stacy S., Lindsey, Jennifer

Continuing on: Delia, Marnie, Veronica